A Purring Machine – 100 Orgasms

♦ I’m doing a little project that was suggested by the wonderful Bondara sex shop thanks to a very serendipitous misread of a title online. What project is this? Well, only to have 100 orgasms in 10 days and write some sexy things about my experiences .

It sounded ridiculous at first and then I thought, hey, that’s only ten a day. It’s totally doable and weirdly intriguing. So I mentally signed myself up. I hadn’t planned to start until the weekend but then I noticed: it’s apparently National Orgasm Day today. How could I not start today?

So, I shall be writing a series of different things about what I get up to in my quest for roughly ten orgasms a day. This blog post is the first. I don’t have a particular long-term plan in my head for this little series, as I’m quite looking forward to seeing what my orgasms inspire in me, what comes out if I go in with an open mind and a blank sheet.

Anyway, below is a little bit of poetry based on orgasms number one and two of 100: a wake-up wank on a dozy morning. Please let me know what you think!  2/100 ♦

Sleep seeps into my bones
Like hot water into a sinking teabag
My face is fire, eyes heavy, mind a cartwheel
Of wheeling bodies and sandbags

I haul myself to solitude, away from the buzz
Trudge and slump
My idle hand seeks to make a plaything of me
Hisses between white hills and grey cloud cover
To a slumbering country of pinks and troughs
Where it plays
Staccato rhythms, the lark ascending
My middle finger circles, a motorist on a starting handle
A dynamo whirring
Cranking, shooting a Tesla coil hum through my wires
Static shivers along once-sleeping skin

Or perhaps I play
The fireman to my traction engine
The stoker of my coals
I feed the furnace, steam seeps between my thighs
The boiler of my cunt builds and sends
Hot, damp power through my body
White fills my vision
My body shudders and shakes, reawakened
Reborn, renewed, replenished
Bolts fly from their housings
An engine explosion
A singing, ringing crescendo of steam and smoke and white-hot metal
A hissing hot leak

Fingerprints dance over sodden skin
An aftershock blooms large and causes
Tender flesh to tremble again
A second spike

Lightning: a modern Prometheus cries “Live!”
The fog of sleep lifts
Dawn hits and my nerves turn to busy industry
I wake for the first time since
Opening my eyes
And trundle, alert, a purring machine

All Wet Through

♦ Recently I caused a minor stir on Twitter with a tweet showing off a lovely white t-shirt. It makes my boobs look huge, I said. Well, with a good bra underneath, at least.

The lovely Lady Pandorah voiced a thought that occurs to me every time I wear that top: wet t-shirts. It just looks like a wet t-shirt top. I’d been meaning to do it and that comment gave me just the motivation I needed. Hell, I was even having a shower when I got home anyway.

So I took everything off, including the bra of course, put the t-shirt back on and stepped in. When I was soaked to the skin, I stepped out and took a couple of self shots. I think they turned out pretty hot, so if you need a cold shower afterwards to calm down, just remember to wear something nice! ♦

Don’t forget to be sinful this Sunday! Check out all the Sinful Sunday entries below…

The Good, the Bad and the Downright Weird

♦ It’s been a long time since I wrote a post showing you some of the more unusual search terms that people are using when they find (and click on) my blog. Heck, the post I wrote about it last was years ago now. It’s fun and I should do this more often and, let’s be honest, this writing is taking up a lot of my spare time so I need something less taxing to post here that isn’t another blimmin’ picture. My writing deadline is Monday, however, so things should pick up a bit here then.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the good, bad and downright weird ways people have found me over the last month or so… ♦

Good

bacon dildo – This person has had truly the world’s greatest idea. To the fridge! Until then, Baconlube will just have to do.
a good spanking is given hard with the hand – Damn straight.
angel demon lesbians – Perhaps this sort of thing is why this is the most popular post OF ALL TIME on my blog.
women wearing fedoras naked – I’ll get behind that!
alabaster buttocks – Teehee
fat bottomed submissive – Hi. Nice to meet you.
gorgeous tomboy fuck – I’ll be in my bunk.
so many tits – THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!
victoria coren – Rrowr! Perhaps naked in a fedora with bacon?
dice in vagina – They never actually made it quite that far.

Bad

jelly dong sex pics – Fuck no. About the worst thing you can do to me is show me incredibly hot porn that happens to use a disgusting jelly toy. So right with so much wrongness!
wonderfull erotic child sex – Eww. Go straight to the police, do not pass Go.
sex badly – How dare you!
rohypnol – Consent is sexy, people
runny pussy – Ick!
the durex slipped off his huge black cock just as he came inside me – That is not a good thing.

Downright Weird

stimulus package – I do not think my blog was what you were after here.
barbie with genuine tits – I don’t… even.
anally inserted tumblr – Question: Does a website have a flared base?
honest cocks – None of your deceitful dicks here.
fetish, being thrown into ocean – Really? Huh. That is a new one!
tease him with your vagina scent – Do eeet!
bdsm in discworld – I am intrigued where you were going with this.
is patchouli pussy – Probably not.
slipping my cock into a warm jar of honey – Better idea: slipping a warm jar of honey into my face.
accessorize for cruel self bondage – Perhaps a shawl or bracelet of some kind. With spikes maybe.
my newly waxed penis – WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

Pinful Punday

♦ Because you see what I did there? Feel free to groan. And perhaps not in the way I’d normally expect. Anyway, my pinwheels need to come out to play more often. I’m hoping to get a bit of fun with them today in fact. I think it’s about time Crush tied me up and made me wriggle under their little spikes. Until then, here are some pictures from the last time I got them out. The pinwheels, I mean.

Now, the one below isn’t exactly the best quality, it was a little blurry before compression, but it’s my first attempt at a GIF on here! Aren’t you awfully impressed? Now that I know it’s that easy, I might just have to do it again sometime. Does anyone have any requests? ♦

Click to play the GIF…

Come and be sinful with us this Sunday…

Author Q&A for FELT TIPS

♦ As some of you may know and as I’ve mentioned on my Erotic Fiction and Poetry page, I recently successfully submitted a short erotic story to an anthology called FELT TIPS! Edited by the fantastic Tiffany Reisz, FELT TIPS is a charity anthology for a couple of great causes and is themed around one of my favourite things in the world: stationery.

Yup, stationery-based erotica. If you’re anything like me, there’s no way you’ll miss out on reading it now. I’m in love with clean, blank notebooks and 500 shades of colouring pencils and chunky markers and wooden rulers and too many pens to know what to do with!

The anthology is due to be published on the 12th of December this year. Make a note! My story, Of Silver, Sin and School Desks is fifth in the anthology line-up and will be particularly exciting to anyone with a bit of a teacher-fetish out there.

I am absolutely thrilled to be included and wish it could be published right now! In the mean time, the lovely Jenny Lyn, one of my fellow writers for FELT TIPS, has started a series of Q&As with us FELT TIPS contributors. I highly suggest you check them out if you’re interested in the anthology, because it’ll give you some great sneak peaks into the stories and the authors themselves.

My interview went up this Thursday and you can read it here. Do check it out for some insight into my writing routine, my background as a writer (though you might know what part already),  my turn-ons and turn-offs, my inspirations and, of course, my FELT TIPS story and some juicy clues as to what’s in it! ♦

Alien Probe

♦ OK, so when I said on Twitter that I wasn’t going to post a Toy With Me Tuesday last week so that (among other things) I’d have time to take some fancy photos, I may have been being optimistic. I didn’t. But I didn’t because I spent all weekend coming up with a story for a zombie erotica anthology and starting to write it, so I think that’s pretty worthwhile.

So, yeah, today’s picture is a little last minute again. I apologise. I hope it still makes the grade though. Whilst I didn’t at all accomplish what I was trying to with this shot, I think it’s an interesting one. The toy looks cool in the light and I like the reflection of the camera from different angles. It makes the toy look sort of alien. I like to imagine I’m a reporter doing some snooping and I’ve found this weird probe thing while looking through government files, heh. What could this thing be?

Well, any ideas? Click to embiggen and for the answer (in your address bar). ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

e[lust] #38


Photo courtesy of Lucy and Alex of A Couple of Wankers

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #39? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Wrong On Every Level – “If you wouldn’t ask them to borrow $20 bucks, how the fuck is it ok for you to ask them to fuck you? Oh right, it’s not.”

Good Girl – “She nearly melted into me. When I finally released her, she exhaled–she had been holding her breath.”

The Three Minute Game – “The timer went off and I breathed out, both a sigh of relief and disappointment that it was over.”

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Bitch– “I don’t let her run the show…but she’s always around. She’s in the background saying: Bullshit”

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

Read More…

Tease, Tease, Tease

♦ Time for another drawing for Sinful Sunday! This is another one that was drawn a little while ago. In fact, longer than the last one! I’m usually terrible at remembering when I drew things, so how do I know when this was done? Simple really, that’s me and Fractal.

Yup! Now, I have to say right now that that is not the most accurate drawing of me in the world (sorry to disappoint, potential stalkers!). It’s got my scar, but it’s just not right in terms of body shape or my face, really. Hooray for idealism! I could be wrong, but Crush agrees.

I did genuinely own that outfit (still have the garterbelt), though, and the scenario is, shall we say, not too different from many that occurred in real life. I am, as always, a sub who switches. Once again, please click to embiggen, if you’d like, and let me know what you think! I hope you like it, feel free to let me know if it inspires any nice thoughts… ♦

It’s always tease, tease, tease
You’re happy when I’m on my knees