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Review – Sqweel 2

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Sqweel 2 by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary.

The Sqweel 2, made by Lovehoney themselves, is touted as the “world’s best-selling oral sex toy”. Of course, apart from its predecessor, the Sqweel, I can’t think of another “oral sex toy”, but that’s probably besides the point. What the point is, is that this isn’t quite your average vibrator. In fact, you can’t really call it a vibrator at all.

The Sqweel 2 is basically a series of ten inch-long flexible silicone tongues arranged like soft Stegosaurus spines on a wheel, a wheel which then rotates at various speeds to produce a sort of lapping sensation, supposedly like oral sex. But let’s be honest here, whether it’s that much like oral sex (a bit, not really) isn’t really important, does it make me feel good? We shall see.

The toy comes in a plastic insert inside a light cardboard box with an open front. Inside is an instruction booklet in several languages and the Sqweel 2 itself. The box is unnecessary for storage really, as the toy comes with a lid and is fairly self-contained. The only thing you might want to worry about is it turning itself on accidentally, which it does very easily. Not a travel toy unless you first remove the batteries. The Sqweel 2 itself is about five inches tall and about four and a half across with a depth of around two inches. So it’s pretty bulky for a clit toy. In fact, it’s about the size of my open palm.

There is a battery case on the back which takes two AAAs and on the front are two buttons and a cover with a slide lock. The soft tongue wheel is protected by a see-through pink plastic lid which comes off to allow access to the tongues. The main plastic of the case comes in either glossy white or glossy black. I have the white version and I have to say it looks pretty stylish in a girly but not too girly way. It actually reminds me of the Phoenix armour from Mass Effect, for any nerds out there.

The toy has three speeds: slow, medium and fast.  And three modes: normal, reverse and flicker (which alternates between back and forth). All the speeds work with all the rotation modes. The two buttons on the front, which light up blue when the toy is on for a nice touch, control the speed and spin. What I think is great is that the speed button (the “play” symbol) is bigger and more central, as I’m a no-frills girl. I almost always prefer straight up power and no fuss than messing about with patterns. You press “play” to start and again to cycle through the speeds, while mode button cycles through the rotation modes. Simple. To turn the Sqweel 2 back off, you have to press and hold the “play” button for about two seconds.

Above the buttons there is a slide lock, which unlocks the front cover of the Sqweel 2, allowing you to take it off and remove the tongue wheel for cleaning. Since the toy is ABS plastic and silicone, it’s safe as well as easy to clean in terms of materials, though it’s not waterproof. There are some nooks and crannies to watch for, especially given the relative lubeyness of using the Sqweel 2, but it’s relatively easy work.

One thing I really like about this toy is the layout and functions of various buttons and locks. It looks good and it’s simple and easy to use. Though the toy does have some design problems for me (which I’ll go into in a sec), this part of it seems well-designed and not over-thought.

IN USE

The Sqweel 2 is an odd beast to wrangle. It’s unlike any toy I’ve ever tried before and so I didn’t know what to expect, despite trying out the original on my fingers back at Eroticon. Besides which, I knew the original was a toy which divided opinions, so I wasn’t sure if I’d like the Sqweel 2 or not. It pleasantly surprised me, but was by no means without fault.

To use the Sqweel 2, you need a good bit of lube between your clitoris and the tongue wheel. Trust me, without lube is not a good idea unless you’re a fan of pain. So, lube is needed, but it’s a bit hard at first to know how to go about that. On my first go, I unwittingly poured far too much on and created a lubey mess. I thought it’d be a good idea to slowly spin the tongue-blades while I drizzled lube on them. While it didn’t go as badly as it could have (lubesplosion!), I didn’t realise how much I was putting on and ended up with a puddle in the bottom of the case under the tongues, which proceeded to leak onto my nethers and the bed when I tipped it up for use. Ick.

On my second go I used too little lube, or rather it dried up over time, and ended up with rather a lot of friction on my clit. I was coming at the time, so I didn’t mind, but when I finished: oh, my God. Ow. My clit was incredibly painful and sore. I don’t think I’ve ever been that sore before, so do please watch out for that. To be honest, I’m not sure I like the idea of a toy where it’s so easy to fuck up. It seems easy to use either too much or too little lube and, although I got better at gauging it over time, I just don’t like that it can go so badly. It’s all a lot of faff for an orgasm, especially when I don’t use lube at all when I’m focusing on my clit normally.

What makes it worse is that the Sqweel 2 is often incredibly hard to grip when lubey, which means you need to be even more careful how you lube it. The case is just far too slippery when wet and hard to grip. It could really do with textured or grooved areas to grip along the inwards curves at the side. Though it does have a few dents that mimic the shape of the tongues, I don’t think these are made for holding as they’re in a really awkward place for that. It makes the toy a bit of a two-hander, which can be really inconvenient, and I’ve struggled not to drop it a few times.

Of course, being a two-hander doesn’t affect this toy as much as it could as the sheer bulk and awkwardness of it makes it pretty clunky to use a dildo in me or anything like that anyway. It can be done, but it’s a bit awkward and just not worth the hassle. As well as clunky, it’s not exactly discreet either, though not stupidly loud. It could be heard through my door on medium and high speeds and on high flicker, but you could probably use music easily to cover it.

What about how it feels? Well, like I say, I was pleasantly surprised. It feels pretty cool! The tongues lap in a sort of soft-but-firm way and sort of brush past your skin using only the top half a centimetre or so of their surface. It’s an interesting sensation and hard to describe, sort of a cross between oral sex and actual vibration, like a gentle flicking. The reverse setting makes the tongue-blades spin in, well, reverse and seems to provide a slightly rougher, slightly more intense feel to the flicking. The speeds range from a fast kind of slow to a slow kind of fast, though I personally thought an extra speed at the top end would have been nice. But I always think that. I find the “flicker” back and forth mode pretty eh, preferring a steady and continuous feeling. But I always think that too.

The main issue that I think will divide people on the Sqweel 2 (as with the Sqweel) is that you’ve got to be OK with not squeezing it against yourself or really putting any pressure on at all. The rotation just can’t cope with resistance very well, which is a shame, and the wheel will either slow down or stop entirely. If you need pressure on your clit, back away now. I love pressure on my clit and find it’s a natural instinct the more into it I get, but I managed to control myself here and it worked out pretty well. It’s a slow build-up every time I’ve used the Sqweel 2 and it doesn’t always pay off for me. It feels great, but sometimes frustrating. It won’t make me come every time and I’m not always in the mood for “the journey”.

CONCLUSION

So, to Sqweel or not to Sqweel? Well, for me the Sqweel 2 is a bit of a conundrum. I want to like it, I’m just not certain I do. It’s innovative, it shows a lot of improvement from what I’ve read over the original, it’s stylish and fun and brings something different to the bedroom. But that’s perhaps the root of my problem. I like it because it’s something different, a unique sensation, and I don’t like it for the same reasons. It’s a very interesting toy with a unique sensation that is worth a try if you like different things, but it’s just a bit too much effort and faff for me to use often.

I want to love it for offering me something truly different from my usual fare, but it’s too unreliable for me. It’s hard to lube to the right amount, it’s hard to use because you have to not use too much pressure, it’s hard work because the sensations are very subtle and it therefore takes a lot of work to make me come. It just doesn’t make me come often enough. It’s not so much a fun ride. I’ll give it points for offering something unique and I’m sure I’ll experiment with it further, but it’s not good or orgasmic enough to become a toybox staple and the amount of effort involved for me in using it just puts me right off.

That said, if you’re bored of the everyday and want to try something different, this will certainly provide that for you. And good different too. Just not great. You can get the Sqweel 2 here from Lovehoney. ♦

New! Sqweel 2 the worlds best selling oral sex toy!

Ten Hut! – 100 Orgasms

♦ “Close your eyes,” I said and he did. He lay back on the bed and shut them firmly, anticipating, always eager to obey when he knew I had something planned. I did have something planned, even if that plan had come together in the space of five minutes in the next room, rooting through The Drawers for kink and kit.

We’re having our housewarming this weekend and it’s fancy dress, because fancy dress is fucking fantastic. I’ve been making a military beret for mine and something clicked in my head when I saw it lying there, discarded. I’d been thinking lacy and stockings, but now…

I shut the door behind me and straddled him at the hips.  When I allowed him to open his eyes he saw me dressed in the green beret and a very military-like khaki jumpsuit buttoned to the collarbone. I carried a crop under my arm, swagger stick style. I swear his eyes almost bulged from his head.

He was dressed only in his trousers and he looked beautiful. I’d already been impressed earlier that day by how gorgeous his arms looked: swimmer’s muscles, lean and lithe but strong.

You’ll have to forgive me. I may say it myself, but what he said to me and what I said to him and the roleplaying was so fucking hot. But I forget. My waves of orgasms are too good at wiping out the coastal villages of my memory. The details merge, the lines become brush strokes of eroticism on an Impressionist painting.

So, yeah, I forget stuff.

But the night was swimming with “Yes, Ma’am”s and permission asked and occasional cheek given. I enjoyed ordering him around and domming shit up and punishing insubordination where I found it, rewarding good behaviour too.

I unbuttoned the top of the khaki jumpsuit to show my breasts, naked but for a fishnet bodystocking and, supporting them, an almost Steampunk “bra belt”. My nipples poked through the black fishnet and I leant in towards his face. He sucked on my left nipple with ardour and I gasped and ground into his body beneath me.

Before I knew it, I was surprising myself with an orgasm. My grinding into him wasn’t even involved! This was all from his attention on one of my nipples and I inwardly praised my body as I shuddered on top of him.

Military-style banter that I so wish I could remember followed. Trust me: fucking hot. Crush respectfully suggested we try the experiment again to see if we could reproduce those results and I agreed, but this time I demanded to lie on my back.

He took my nipple in his mouth again and he began to suck, but my nipple wouldn’t be so easily swayed this time. No matter. As he sucked hard I began to rub my crotch over my jumpsuit and, not that he knew that, my black PVC thong underneath. I rubbed furiously, so turned on by his desire and the sheer fucking hotness of it all. Soon I was shuddering, a second orgasm rippling through me.

Now Crush was bold with lust and, as we switched places again, asked me if he could spank me.

Well, I was in charge as his Commanding Officer, so what to do? But a filthy thought occurred. I quite like the idea of hurting a man, something he might not necessarily like, as a form of payment by him to get something he really wants. I’m not sure what it is about it. Perhaps the idea that his lusts have overtaken him so?

In any case, I offered the price of five pinches of his nipple for an undefined period of spanking me. He accepted nervously and I began, gently, to pinch him. I brusquely told him to count and he did. But he tried to be cheeky, tried to count three when it was two. So I started again. He counted the fourth pinch before I’d actually done it, so guess what? I started again.

This time there were no mistakes and I dismounted him, leaning forward on hands and knees as he spanked me with the red paddle. Sometimes I hate that paddle. Sometimes, as you’ll see, I love it. But right now it was a hard one to take.

Take it I did, though.

Now naked, he sat on the edge of the bed and I produced my black metal handcuffs from the little pile of toys I’d brought in. I set them down and, hot from our exertions, stripped the khaki jumpsuit from my body. Now he saw the thong and the full glory of my bodystocking as its netting covered my sticky-hot curves.

The hat, I noticed, fell some time during the spanking. Now it was pure kinkwear, but we kept up our roles nonetheless. My geek society would be proud. :P

I opened the cuffs, managing to hook them into my fishnet on the way. Sigh. Unhooking them, I instead attached them to my intended target. I grabbed them by the chain and hoicked his arms above his head, scratching at his chest and back and eyeing him fiercely.

Letting go, I made him scoot up the bed and knelt between his legs, bringing my beloved Tango vibe with me. I placed it between my labia, cushioned by them and kept in place by my thong and thighs. I turned it on and felt it throb. I kissed my way up Crush’s body, crawling seductively, reaching his cock and…

…running my tongue playfully a centimetre above his shaft as if licking, but not. A tease. A torture.

The kisses marched up his chest and neck before I turned and swooped back down on his cock, licking for real this time, making love to him with tongue and lips. I was feral, enthusiastic, I moaned when he leaked pre-come and writhed back and forth, managing to rock against the vibrator nestled in my folds. I came once, twice as I licked fervently and then collapsed on his cock.

I offered to let him fuck me, right then and there. But Crush was on task. He knew I had a goal to reach and figured one more towards it before moving on couldn’t hurt. He asked me to carry on licking and sucking and coming on my bullet vibe, but this time he wanted some dirty talk. And, narcissist that he is, heh, dirty talk about him.

So I told him as I licked him about how hot he makes me, how sexy he looks, his gorgeous body, his thick cock and I licked and sucked. I wriggled and turned up the rumble on my vibrator until I came again, moaning on his cock, gagging myself with his erection.

The finest part of the evening was still to come though. And I’m not even talking about the penetration. No, while that was fantastic, I think I liked the next part better. Remember I said sometimes I love the red paddle?

He wanted to use it on me again, this time while I continued to use the vibrator on myself. I was only too quick to oblige.

It was interesting how through the whole thing, I was still in charge. Even when I asked him what he wanted, even when I shuddered under his hand as he spanked me. It was strange, although it shouldn’t be, and wonderful. I was his superior officer, he a lowly subordinate and I was using him for my kicks. Simple as. Whether he spanked me or not, it was my will and I could easily have him court marshalled in a snap, naturally.

I discarded the ridiculously-named “bra belt” and the thong and leant forward on the bed. He spanked me as I toyed with my clit using the vibrator and for a while it was much the same as the first spanking. Then the rumbling on my clit began to kick in and, as I worked myself towards another orgasm, I found myself wanting more and more and MORE.

“Harder,” I begged and Crush obliged. “Harder,” I cried and he hit harder still. With each gain in arousal I wanted more force, more pain. Soon I was coming hard and Crush was pounding on me as hard as he could. I had never taken this much force for this long before and I kept it up as I rolled into another fantastic climax. I was out of breath, sweating, shaking, I was full of the most wonderful feelings and sensations. I collapsed forward and turned onto my back, gazing at my beautiful lad with wide eyes.

“I love you,” I said, breaking character momentarily.

“I love you too,” he replied.

The sex that followed was frantic and amazing. Once I’d warmed to the large cock inside me, I told him he could go as hard or soft as he liked. I think he tried to teach me a lesson and soon I was bouncing, shrieking, revelling in the wonderful pleasure/pain of his rough thrusts. He came inside me after a time and we flopped next to each other, spent… ♦

Bruising

10/100

A Purring Machine – 100 Orgasms

♦ I’m doing a little project that was suggested by the wonderful Bondara sex shop thanks to a very serendipitous misread of a title online. What project is this? Well, only to have 100 orgasms in 10 days and write some sexy things about my experiences .

It sounded ridiculous at first and then I thought, hey, that’s only ten a day. It’s totally doable and weirdly intriguing. So I mentally signed myself up. I hadn’t planned to start until the weekend but then I noticed: it’s apparently National Orgasm Day today. How could I not start today?

So, I shall be writing a series of different things about what I get up to in my quest for roughly ten orgasms a day. This blog post is the first. I don’t have a particular long-term plan in my head for this little series, as I’m quite looking forward to seeing what my orgasms inspire in me, what comes out if I go in with an open mind and a blank sheet.

Anyway, below is a little bit of poetry based on orgasms number one and two of 100: a wake-up wank on a dozy morning. Please let me know what you think!  2/100 ♦

Sleep seeps into my bones
Like hot water into a sinking teabag
My face is fire, eyes heavy, mind a cartwheel
Of wheeling bodies and sandbags

I haul myself to solitude, away from the buzz
Trudge and slump
My idle hand seeks to make a plaything of me
Hisses between white hills and grey cloud cover
To a slumbering country of pinks and troughs
Where it plays
Staccato rhythms, the lark ascending
My middle finger circles, a motorist on a starting handle
A dynamo whirring
Cranking, shooting a Tesla coil hum through my wires
Static shivers along once-sleeping skin

Or perhaps I play
The fireman to my traction engine
The stoker of my coals
I feed the furnace, steam seeps between my thighs
The boiler of my cunt builds and sends
Hot, damp power through my body
White fills my vision
My body shudders and shakes, reawakened
Reborn, renewed, replenished
Bolts fly from their housings
An engine explosion
A singing, ringing crescendo of steam and smoke and white-hot metal
A hissing hot leak

Fingerprints dance over sodden skin
An aftershock blooms large and causes
Tender flesh to tremble again
A second spike

Lightning: a modern Prometheus cries “Live!”
The fog of sleep lifts
Dawn hits and my nerves turn to busy industry
I wake for the first time since
Opening my eyes
And trundle, alert, a purring machine

Alien Probe

♦ OK, so when I said on Twitter that I wasn’t going to post a Toy With Me Tuesday last week so that (among other things) I’d have time to take some fancy photos, I may have been being optimistic. I didn’t. But I didn’t because I spent all weekend coming up with a story for a zombie erotica anthology and starting to write it, so I think that’s pretty worthwhile.

So, yeah, today’s picture is a little last minute again. I apologise. I hope it still makes the grade though. Whilst I didn’t at all accomplish what I was trying to with this shot, I think it’s an interesting one. The toy looks cool in the light and I like the reflection of the camera from different angles. It makes the toy look sort of alien. I like to imagine I’m a reporter doing some snooping and I’ve found this weird probe thing while looking through government files, heh. What could this thing be?

Well, any ideas? Click to embiggen and for the answer (in your address bar). ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Progress

♦ The both of us naked, I found my face pressed into his stomach and my arse being caressed by his rough palms. I had already slowly stripped him of his clothes and stroked his soft thighs. He had already grinned and laid back as I ran my fingers over his oh-so-silky cock. Now I planted kisses on his belly and flank as he turned caressing and light strokes into firm pats that threatened solid swats.

The spanking began in earnest, though our positions stopped too much force, and he made sure to stroke my behind lovingly between each blow. I liked that. It ramped up the anticipation and kept it intimate and somehow more filthy. More calculated, perhaps.

He snuck his free hand around to my clitoris and teased at me lightly, again hampered by the angle. Seeing a better strategy, he told me I should rub myself instead and keep rubbing until he said otherwise. I love to be made to touch myself beyond what I’d normally inflict on myself. I love the threat of punishment if I let up even for one moment, no matter my wishes.

So I started to rub. I plucked my clitoris into pleasure as he started to put his usual force into his spanks, hitting me hard but still giving me a comforting stroke in between each. My masturbating became more frantic with my rising excitement and so did his stroking of my bare behind; he now squeezed and grabbed a little as he stroked, almost possessive in his actions.

I was close to coming and begged out loud for release.

“May I come please, sir?” I said, adding the “sir” out of my own desire to be subordinate.

He leant into my ear and whispered a hasty “yes” to me, allowing me to relax into my climax, making me shudder with pleasure and release of not only tension, but built-up emotion too.

Of course, when I was done, it’s not like I could just stop touching myself. I had orders, a fact he seemed to enjoy reminding me of.

“That’s right, keep touching yourself,” he hissed as the spanking continued. I allowed the tender, heightened feeling of my sex to carry me along and soon I hit another orgasm, making me gasp and moan. The shock dying down, I asked if I could stop and he relented at last.

My recovery didn’t and couldn’t last long: he pulled at my legs, flipping me over onto my back. I was balanced awkwardly on a lump of duvet, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him inside me.

He pushed his cockhead against me, but my wet cunt offered little resistance and he soon sank in deep. I had wanted this this evening, but thought my earlier outburst of emotions had ruined my chances, so I was so, so glad to be getting what I wanted anyway.

He was, as usual, a little too big for comfort, which I absolutely love. I asked him for it slow but hard and deep, so that I could feel every delicious flash of feeling, every gorgeous millimetre of his cock opening me up, driving to my depths.

He thrust slowly into me, but getting that little bit faster with each stroke. I writhed and wriggled on his cock, feeling his chest with my hands whenever I wasn’t steadying myself. I came again, pushed into climax by the pounding of his cock just as he came inside me. I love doing that.

I pulled him close to me, buoyed up by my orgasm and our physicality but also by the emotions of this intimate act with him. So easy to forget that not long ago he was new to sex entirely, new to kink entirely, new to me entirely. When I see how far he’s come for me, I can forgive that we have a way to go and I see how much he loves me. If there was no other reason to love him, that’d be a pretty good start.

Luckily for me, I have plenty already. ♦

Review – Tantus VIP Super Soft

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Tantus VIP Super Soft by SexToysUK in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary. Clicking any of the pictures below will take you to the full-sized image.

The VIP Super Soft is a somewhat unusual dildo made by Tantus, one of my favourite manufacturers. It comes in the usual Tantus packaging, which you can read about in any of my other reviews for Tantus products.

It’s a fairly big dildo with balls, six inches long by 1.5 diameter, made out of Tantus’s Super Soft silicone material. This is the stuff that the squishy outer layer of Tantus’s O2 dildos like the Tantus Max is made out of. Unlike the O2 line of products, this dildo is soft silicone all the way through, with no inner core of firmer silicone. As with all Tantus silicone, it is body-safe and sterilisable.

It is really the softest dildo I’ve ever owned and is incredibly squishable compared to a normal silicone or even an O2 silicone dildo. It is softer than an erection but firmer than a soft cock, feeling a bit like a firm semi. It is much more flexible than that, though, as you can bend it in half and even stretch it out and it returns nicely to shape. I do think this is quite a robust dildo for that, but it does seem to be slightly susceptible to dents in the material.

The VIP Super Soft is a realistic-style cock, but in a simplified way. It has balls (stamped with the Tantus logo), a fairly pronounced head and a modelled frenulum, but on the other hand it has a smooth shaft with no veins and there is no real detail on the toy. I think this style is a nice balance between realistic and non-realistic, but I’m not exactly picky when it comes to that.

It’s a dildo which is sold by SexToysUK as being designed for pack and play: that is, to be worn in under your clothes like a packing cock and then to be used as a strap-on cock on a partner without having to switch dildos. Ideally, it should be soft enough to squeeze into your underwear, but hard enough to fuck with. Most dildos are too hard to pack and most packers (like my Mr Limpy) are far too soft to penetrate with, so something in the middle would be perfect.

PACKING

The Tantus VIP Super Soft is, as I mentioned, quite like a semi-erection in terms of firmness, so it gives the wearer quite a bulge in the pants. In fact, it gives more of a bulge than a semi-on would, because the toy is obviously sized as a large fully-erect cock. So the look is not going to be as subtle as a normal packing cock. In fact, it’s a bit like walking around with a constant hard-on, not that I mind that look. In fact, I quite like it. I’m a big girl so I want a big-looking cock to balance me out.

The toy is obviously harness-compatible and sits nice and firmly in a harness due to its adequate balls. It makes for a somewhat droopy cock, again not quite fully erect, but I actually find it quite hard to find cocks that don’t droop quite a bit in the harness, so I wouldn’t say this one was particularly awful for it, despite the soft silicone. In fact, the upwards curve of the VIP Super Soft means it hangs a lot nicer than it otherwise might and looks pretty nice. I do genuinely love to have this dildo sticking out proudly from my fly and looking decently real enough to get my mental erection going.

PLAYING

The material is soft enough to pack, but is it firm enough for play? I remember reading a couple of reviews that left me doubtful of this and had resigned myself to using it as a purely decorative cock, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is actually firm enough for insertion and insertion that does something too! It felt good! The material is, remember, less soft than I expected and I found it felt absolutely fantastic on my g-spot. Now, perhaps my g-spot is slightly hard to find and somewhat easy to please, I’m still learning about what it’s like, so it might not work for you, but it did for me. I found that the curve of the VIP Super Soft’s shaft really helped it rub where it should and it felt great, though it’ll do nothing for you if you like a firm touch there.

So it works for that pretty well. Where it did really fail though is in deeper thrusting and A-spot (anterior fornix) stimulation, as well as at just sitting inside me and being squeezed around. It did nothing for me as something to contract on as it’s too squishy. It’s great shallowly but as soon as it gets deeper, it’s much less easy to feel the toy. And it’s definitely too soft to give me the ooh-pleasure-pain I love so much deep at the back of my vagina. However, because of this, it does mean you can basically go all-out on the thrusting, so if you like to pound super-fast but get caught out by firmness, this might be great for you.

Whether you’ll find this a toy you can actually use or whether it’s just decorative will likely depend on how you feel about material firmness, basically. I think the shape of the VIP Super Soft is great and I doubt many people would disagree with me there, but it’s the soft silicone that will sway you one way or the other. If you like firm to hard toys, don’t get this. If you need pressure or firmness on your g-spot, don’t get this. If you like to whack the depths of your vagina, don’t get this. But, if you like softer materials, I recommend this. If soft g-spot rubbing works for you, I recommend this. If you like to thrust hard but don’t like to be hit hard, I recommend this. It’s all about your preferences, of course, but for mine I love what this toy can do for me, even if it works less well in other areas.

 CONCLUSION

The Tantus VIP Super Soft is a great toy for me. I love the look of it and the feel too. It’s large and fun and squishy, but also does the job of making me come and come well. It is fantastic quality, like every Tantus product, body-safe and sterilisable. It is harness compatible and can be packed, if a little obtrusively. If you want a subtle bulge, perhaps don’t go for this. It stands up well in a harness too, given its material. The toy has a great shape to it and I find it good on my g-spot and for shallow thrusting.

Is it the perfect pack and play dildo? Well, probably not. It’s on the edge of packable and could do with being a bit smaller or somehow just a bit less in your face about being down your pants. You can fuck with it, but it won’t suit everyone and some people are just going to find it too soft and meh. That said, there really aren’t a lot of dildos out there that you can pack and play with. It’s certainly the only one I own. And I love its versatility, even if it’s not perfect, and I love the look and style and squish and use of it. It’s a bit of a Marmite toy, I’d say. I won’t recommend it outright to everyone, but for some out there, especially people like me, this is going to be a fantastic toy for you. If you think you’ll share my enjoyment of the Tantus VIP Super Soft, you can pick it up now at SexToysUK.

The First Time Again

♦ Our ‘new’ mattress is a little harder and the room a little lighter. There are long-forgotten trinkets still strewn on the floor and half-filled drawers waiting for clothes and clutter. An unfamiliar ceiling. A single floorboard that creaks.

But he, at least, is familiar.

Days of drudgery and Domestos have sunk tiredness deep into our bones and our brains are fuzzy from weariness and fumes. We have relied on each other to put in the elbow grease and take care of tasks, but we haven’t yet sunk into each others bare arms in this house other than to flop into fitful sleep.

His hair is tousled and his body, as always, is full of soft curves and hard edges: a smooth belly, jutting hips, long limbs and the barest hint of plush, dark hair. He crawls into bed from the edge and peppers my naked breast with kisses. I ache for affection not snuck between hefting boxes or scrubbing surfaces. I long for the feel of him, the leisure of his body and the pleasure of his cock.

I press into his kisses and plant my own on his shoulder and neck, undulating under his mouth. I slip my hands from his torso as he starts to nibble at my nipple and I move one to his cock and one to my clit.

He lies down next to me, still with good access to my body and lets me stroke us both. His foot is planted steadily against the wall and I hook my leg over his lightly, giving myself better access to the sensations knotting around my clitoris.

I struggle to keep us both at our preferred rhythms – him slower and me faster – as he takes a nipple in each hand and presses and rolls them between his fingertips.

Our little moans and sighs of content mingle in the high-ceilinged room and I edge towards orgasm. After a little rearrangement of my pillows, I am there, gasping and groaning as I shatter the tension built up in my body and shudder into my climax.

I am still masturbating him slowly but now I turn to him and tell him I want him to fuck me. I want him inside me. I want to melt back into desire with him. I want to make it clear that the worst of the life-fuss is over and I can start to relax, that we can reclaim our lust together from the clutches of responsibility.

He pulls himself around so he kneels between my legs and pushes his cockhead against my wettened slit. I so want this. I gasp as he enters me, my cunt still tender and tuned-up from my orgasm. I ask him to keep his angle low so I can really enjoy the full size of him as he strokes the top of my pussy and thrusts me into happiness.

I love the feel of cock on cunt. I writhe in pleasure as I stroke myself leisurely, watching his gorgeous face change with his efforts. Soon he is coming inside me, groaning in the release of too much built-up tension. It has been far too long for both of us.

I pull him down on top of me and feel the last twitches of his cock inside me. The house is ours now and he is mine, but, perhaps more importantly, I belong to myself again, not to life’s little irks. There’s nothing like having a first time all over again.

Review – Tantus Max O2

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Tantus Max O2 by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary. Clicking any of the pictures below will take you to the full-sized image.

The Max O2 by Tantus is a large realistic dildo made by one of my favourite toy manufacturers. It’s a dildo with balls that features dual densities of silicone and a large base suitable for a harness. It’s currently the largest dildo I own and the first dildo I’ve ever owned with balls.

The packaging for Max is the usual Tantus kind: a clear plastic box with red details and product information, inside which sits the dildo in a plastic clamshell. This is about the second or third time a Tantus box has split on me and it is also a bit big, so I now keep my Max in a Lovehoney Satin Drawstring Toy Bag (yes, it fits, these things are awesome).

(UPDATED since 18th June) My Tantus Max came in black, which is not a colour Lovehoney originally intended to stock. They were going to stick to the cream version. However, following my tweet to Lovehoney telling them how much we all like the black version, they’ve decided to stock it in black after all! Hooray! The cream is nice, but I do very much love the black. It’s a sleek colour that really makes the dildo more stylish. It looks fantastic.

The Max itself is a bit of a monster. In a good way. At around eight inches insertable and 1.9 inches diameter, it’s not for the faint-hearted (or the timid vagina). It’s one of those toys where again I didn’t really have an idea of the size until it arrived. So let me say this: pretty damn big.

I can take the Max without warm-up, yes, but it’s easier with one and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend the no-warm-up route for everyone. The fact that it is made from O2 silicone, and so is squishier than firm single-density silicone, means that it’s easier to handle than if it were entirely firm, but it’s still fairly solid.

As I say, the dildo is made from Tantus’ O2 silicone, which essentially means (aside from it being body-safe and sterilisable) that it has a firm core of normal Tantus silicone that is covered by a varying-thickness layer of “super soft” silicone, giving a dual density effect. This means that the dildo has a similar hard-yet-soft feel to a flesh and blood penis, which makes it more realistic and a lot of fun. The Max, as I say, is actually pretty firm and the softer layer is quite thin. The head and the balls of the Max are entirely made out of super soft silicone, making them very squeezable. The Tantus Max O2 is also dual texture, with a matte shaft and balls and a glossy head, but it’s not something I really notice in use.

It’s a realistic design, other than the size, but a fairly simple one. Straight up and down, no mucking about, but there are some careful little details that really make it stand out. There is mild just-for-show veining on the shaft and the frenulum of the Max is wonderfully detailed. Heck, the balls are even slightly uneven.

The sad part is that because the Max is so big and long, I can’t feel the balls slap against me as I’d like. And I would like. But, they do make for a great handle for thrusting, especially if you use it upside-down, and since it’s so straight, which way up it is doesn’t really seem to matter to me. On the plus side regarding its size, the extra length does make the Max very easy to manipulate and gives plenty of scope for decent thrusting.

It feels fucking fantastic. Seriously. I didn’t think I was a size queen and I do appreciate smaller dildos still, of course, but the Tantus Max O2 is an experience. I love it and I’m not entirely certain how to describe it. It’s intense and it’s not something I’d necessarily go for all the time, but it does what it does very well. As I say, the shape is great but fairly basic, so I think it’s the combination of size and material that really makes it work. It is big but comfortable, fills you up and opens you up, but without leaving you feeling stretched.

It does very well at both thrusting and just hanging out in your vagina. For hanging out, it’s big and squishy enough to enjoyably squeeze around. Plus, silicone transmits vibrations very well if you want to press a massage wand against the base (I love this). For thrusting, it’s big, but very smooth and straight and fairly uniform, so it’s quite easy to pump with. I find that you notice the edge of the head as I move it back and forth, so sensitive people might want to watch for that. It’s also the hardest bit to insert at first.

The Max is straight, so it doesn’t really excel at the g-spot, but what it does amazingly at is providing all-over feelings to the whole of my vagina, making it all ripple with pleasure. I also love that the girth and length mean I can really push it to the back of my pussy, up by the A-spot (anterior fornix) and cervix. I absolutely love the intense feeling between pleasure and almost-pain that I get from pushing as far into myself as I can go. The ache alone is almost enough to make me come.

Though I have no partner for strap-on play, I have tried the Max out in a harness as its base is compatible for that. It sits pretty nicely given how heavy it is and I was impressed that it doesn’t point significantly low. I like my ‘cocks’ perky. Obviously, this will depend on your harness and O-ring (you’ll need a large one), but mine is nothing special and the Max holds itself well in it. The Max makes for a satisfying, if a bit excessive ‘cock’ for me, however the edge of the base around the bottom of the balls is quite pointy and cuts into my large thighs when sitting down, which is a bit uncomfortable.

CONCLUSION

The Tantus Max O2 is a blimmin’ fantastic dildo. Like most Tantus toys, it leaves me fairly speechless in trying to tell you just how good it is. It’s a simple design that looks great and works brilliantly. It’s body-safe, sterilisable, harness-compatible, anal-safe (if you’re bold), great quality and it’s a very, very reasonable price for the sheer amount of platinum silicone you’re getting, especially given the dual-density and dual-texture. It’s big and you shouldn’t under-estimate that, but if you can handle the size, you’ll love it. It feels amazing. Big, squishy, firm, sensual, simple. It fills you up and stimulates like crazy, especially if you like girth and length. The only negatives I can think of are trifling.

If the Tantus Max O2 tempts you, and it comes highly recommended by me, then you can grab one now from Lovehoney. ♦

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