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Review – Sqweel 2

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Sqweel 2 by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary.

The Sqweel 2, made by Lovehoney themselves, is touted as the “world’s best-selling oral sex toy”. Of course, apart from its predecessor, the Sqweel, I can’t think of another “oral sex toy”, but that’s probably besides the point. What the point is, is that this isn’t quite your average vibrator. In fact, you can’t really call it a vibrator at all.

The Sqweel 2 is basically a series of ten inch-long flexible silicone tongues arranged like soft Stegosaurus spines on a wheel, a wheel which then rotates at various speeds to produce a sort of lapping sensation, supposedly like oral sex. But let’s be honest here, whether it’s that much like oral sex (a bit, not really) isn’t really important, does it make me feel good? We shall see.

The toy comes in a plastic insert inside a light cardboard box with an open front. Inside is an instruction booklet in several languages and the Sqweel 2 itself. The box is unnecessary for storage really, as the toy comes with a lid and is fairly self-contained. The only thing you might want to worry about is it turning itself on accidentally, which it does very easily. Not a travel toy unless you first remove the batteries. The Sqweel 2 itself is about five inches tall and about four and a half across with a depth of around two inches. So it’s pretty bulky for a clit toy. In fact, it’s about the size of my open palm.

There is a battery case on the back which takes two AAAs and on the front are two buttons and a cover with a slide lock. The soft tongue wheel is protected by a see-through pink plastic lid which comes off to allow access to the tongues. The main plastic of the case comes in either glossy white or glossy black. I have the white version and I have to say it looks pretty stylish in a girly but not too girly way. It actually reminds me of the Phoenix armour from Mass Effect, for any nerds out there.

The toy has three speeds: slow, medium and fast.  And three modes: normal, reverse and flicker (which alternates between back and forth). All the speeds work with all the rotation modes. The two buttons on the front, which light up blue when the toy is on for a nice touch, control the speed and spin. What I think is great is that the speed button (the “play” symbol) is bigger and more central, as I’m a no-frills girl. I almost always prefer straight up power and no fuss than messing about with patterns. You press “play” to start and again to cycle through the speeds, while mode button cycles through the rotation modes. Simple. To turn the Sqweel 2 back off, you have to press and hold the “play” button for about two seconds.

Above the buttons there is a slide lock, which unlocks the front cover of the Sqweel 2, allowing you to take it off and remove the tongue wheel for cleaning. Since the toy is ABS plastic and silicone, it’s safe as well as easy to clean in terms of materials, though it’s not waterproof. There are some nooks and crannies to watch for, especially given the relative lubeyness of using the Sqweel 2, but it’s relatively easy work.

One thing I really like about this toy is the layout and functions of various buttons and locks. It looks good and it’s simple and easy to use. Though the toy does have some design problems for me (which I’ll go into in a sec), this part of it seems well-designed and not over-thought.

IN USE

The Sqweel 2 is an odd beast to wrangle. It’s unlike any toy I’ve ever tried before and so I didn’t know what to expect, despite trying out the original on my fingers back at Eroticon. Besides which, I knew the original was a toy which divided opinions, so I wasn’t sure if I’d like the Sqweel 2 or not. It pleasantly surprised me, but was by no means without fault.

To use the Sqweel 2, you need a good bit of lube between your clitoris and the tongue wheel. Trust me, without lube is not a good idea unless you’re a fan of pain. So, lube is needed, but it’s a bit hard at first to know how to go about that. On my first go, I unwittingly poured far too much on and created a lubey mess. I thought it’d be a good idea to slowly spin the tongue-blades while I drizzled lube on them. While it didn’t go as badly as it could have (lubesplosion!), I didn’t realise how much I was putting on and ended up with a puddle in the bottom of the case under the tongues, which proceeded to leak onto my nethers and the bed when I tipped it up for use. Ick.

On my second go I used too little lube, or rather it dried up over time, and ended up with rather a lot of friction on my clit. I was coming at the time, so I didn’t mind, but when I finished: oh, my God. Ow. My clit was incredibly painful and sore. I don’t think I’ve ever been that sore before, so do please watch out for that. To be honest, I’m not sure I like the idea of a toy where it’s so easy to fuck up. It seems easy to use either too much or too little lube and, although I got better at gauging it over time, I just don’t like that it can go so badly. It’s all a lot of faff for an orgasm, especially when I don’t use lube at all when I’m focusing on my clit normally.

What makes it worse is that the Sqweel 2 is often incredibly hard to grip when lubey, which means you need to be even more careful how you lube it. The case is just far too slippery when wet and hard to grip. It could really do with textured or grooved areas to grip along the inwards curves at the side. Though it does have a few dents that mimic the shape of the tongues, I don’t think these are made for holding as they’re in a really awkward place for that. It makes the toy a bit of a two-hander, which can be really inconvenient, and I’ve struggled not to drop it a few times.

Of course, being a two-hander doesn’t affect this toy as much as it could as the sheer bulk and awkwardness of it makes it pretty clunky to use a dildo in me or anything like that anyway. It can be done, but it’s a bit awkward and just not worth the hassle. As well as clunky, it’s not exactly discreet either, though not stupidly loud. It could be heard through my door on medium and high speeds and on high flicker, but you could probably use music easily to cover it.

What about how it feels? Well, like I say, I was pleasantly surprised. It feels pretty cool! The tongues lap in a sort of soft-but-firm way and sort of brush past your skin using only the top half a centimetre or so of their surface. It’s an interesting sensation and hard to describe, sort of a cross between oral sex and actual vibration, like a gentle flicking. The reverse setting makes the tongue-blades spin in, well, reverse and seems to provide a slightly rougher, slightly more intense feel to the flicking. The speeds range from a fast kind of slow to a slow kind of fast, though I personally thought an extra speed at the top end would have been nice. But I always think that. I find the “flicker” back and forth mode pretty eh, preferring a steady and continuous feeling. But I always think that too.

The main issue that I think will divide people on the Sqweel 2 (as with the Sqweel) is that you’ve got to be OK with not squeezing it against yourself or really putting any pressure on at all. The rotation just can’t cope with resistance very well, which is a shame, and the wheel will either slow down or stop entirely. If you need pressure on your clit, back away now. I love pressure on my clit and find it’s a natural instinct the more into it I get, but I managed to control myself here and it worked out pretty well. It’s a slow build-up every time I’ve used the Sqweel 2 and it doesn’t always pay off for me. It feels great, but sometimes frustrating. It won’t make me come every time and I’m not always in the mood for “the journey”.

CONCLUSION

So, to Sqweel or not to Sqweel? Well, for me the Sqweel 2 is a bit of a conundrum. I want to like it, I’m just not certain I do. It’s innovative, it shows a lot of improvement from what I’ve read over the original, it’s stylish and fun and brings something different to the bedroom. But that’s perhaps the root of my problem. I like it because it’s something different, a unique sensation, and I don’t like it for the same reasons. It’s a very interesting toy with a unique sensation that is worth a try if you like different things, but it’s just a bit too much effort and faff for me to use often.

I want to love it for offering me something truly different from my usual fare, but it’s too unreliable for me. It’s hard to lube to the right amount, it’s hard to use because you have to not use too much pressure, it’s hard work because the sensations are very subtle and it therefore takes a lot of work to make me come. It just doesn’t make me come often enough. It’s not so much a fun ride. I’ll give it points for offering something unique and I’m sure I’ll experiment with it further, but it’s not good or orgasmic enough to become a toybox staple and the amount of effort involved for me in using it just puts me right off.

That said, if you’re bored of the everyday and want to try something different, this will certainly provide that for you. And good different too. Just not great. You can get the Sqweel 2 here from Lovehoney. ♦

New! Sqweel 2 the worlds best selling oral sex toy!

Ten Hut! – 100 Orgasms

♦ “Close your eyes,” I said and he did. He lay back on the bed and shut them firmly, anticipating, always eager to obey when he knew I had something planned. I did have something planned, even if that plan had come together in the space of five minutes in the next room, rooting through The Drawers for kink and kit.

We’re having our housewarming this weekend and it’s fancy dress, because fancy dress is fucking fantastic. I’ve been making a military beret for mine and something clicked in my head when I saw it lying there, discarded. I’d been thinking lacy and stockings, but now…

I shut the door behind me and straddled him at the hips.  When I allowed him to open his eyes he saw me dressed in the green beret and a very military-like khaki jumpsuit buttoned to the collarbone. I carried a crop under my arm, swagger stick style. I swear his eyes almost bulged from his head.

He was dressed only in his trousers and he looked beautiful. I’d already been impressed earlier that day by how gorgeous his arms looked: swimmer’s muscles, lean and lithe but strong.

You’ll have to forgive me. I may say it myself, but what he said to me and what I said to him and the roleplaying was so fucking hot. But I forget. My waves of orgasms are too good at wiping out the coastal villages of my memory. The details merge, the lines become brush strokes of eroticism on an Impressionist painting.

So, yeah, I forget stuff.

But the night was swimming with “Yes, Ma’am”s and permission asked and occasional cheek given. I enjoyed ordering him around and domming shit up and punishing insubordination where I found it, rewarding good behaviour too.

I unbuttoned the top of the khaki jumpsuit to show my breasts, naked but for a fishnet bodystocking and, supporting them, an almost Steampunk “bra belt”. My nipples poked through the black fishnet and I leant in towards his face. He sucked on my left nipple with ardour and I gasped and ground into his body beneath me.

Before I knew it, I was surprising myself with an orgasm. My grinding into him wasn’t even involved! This was all from his attention on one of my nipples and I inwardly praised my body as I shuddered on top of him.

Military-style banter that I so wish I could remember followed. Trust me: fucking hot. Crush respectfully suggested we try the experiment again to see if we could reproduce those results and I agreed, but this time I demanded to lie on my back.

He took my nipple in his mouth again and he began to suck, but my nipple wouldn’t be so easily swayed this time. No matter. As he sucked hard I began to rub my crotch over my jumpsuit and, not that he knew that, my black PVC thong underneath. I rubbed furiously, so turned on by his desire and the sheer fucking hotness of it all. Soon I was shuddering, a second orgasm rippling through me.

Now Crush was bold with lust and, as we switched places again, asked me if he could spank me.

Well, I was in charge as his Commanding Officer, so what to do? But a filthy thought occurred. I quite like the idea of hurting a man, something he might not necessarily like, as a form of payment by him to get something he really wants. I’m not sure what it is about it. Perhaps the idea that his lusts have overtaken him so?

In any case, I offered the price of five pinches of his nipple for an undefined period of spanking me. He accepted nervously and I began, gently, to pinch him. I brusquely told him to count and he did. But he tried to be cheeky, tried to count three when it was two. So I started again. He counted the fourth pinch before I’d actually done it, so guess what? I started again.

This time there were no mistakes and I dismounted him, leaning forward on hands and knees as he spanked me with the red paddle. Sometimes I hate that paddle. Sometimes, as you’ll see, I love it. But right now it was a hard one to take.

Take it I did, though.

Now naked, he sat on the edge of the bed and I produced my black metal handcuffs from the little pile of toys I’d brought in. I set them down and, hot from our exertions, stripped the khaki jumpsuit from my body. Now he saw the thong and the full glory of my bodystocking as its netting covered my sticky-hot curves.

The hat, I noticed, fell some time during the spanking. Now it was pure kinkwear, but we kept up our roles nonetheless. My geek society would be proud. :P

I opened the cuffs, managing to hook them into my fishnet on the way. Sigh. Unhooking them, I instead attached them to my intended target. I grabbed them by the chain and hoicked his arms above his head, scratching at his chest and back and eyeing him fiercely.

Letting go, I made him scoot up the bed and knelt between his legs, bringing my beloved Tango vibe with me. I placed it between my labia, cushioned by them and kept in place by my thong and thighs. I turned it on and felt it throb. I kissed my way up Crush’s body, crawling seductively, reaching his cock and…

…running my tongue playfully a centimetre above his shaft as if licking, but not. A tease. A torture.

The kisses marched up his chest and neck before I turned and swooped back down on his cock, licking for real this time, making love to him with tongue and lips. I was feral, enthusiastic, I moaned when he leaked pre-come and writhed back and forth, managing to rock against the vibrator nestled in my folds. I came once, twice as I licked fervently and then collapsed on his cock.

I offered to let him fuck me, right then and there. But Crush was on task. He knew I had a goal to reach and figured one more towards it before moving on couldn’t hurt. He asked me to carry on licking and sucking and coming on my bullet vibe, but this time he wanted some dirty talk. And, narcissist that he is, heh, dirty talk about him.

So I told him as I licked him about how hot he makes me, how sexy he looks, his gorgeous body, his thick cock and I licked and sucked. I wriggled and turned up the rumble on my vibrator until I came again, moaning on his cock, gagging myself with his erection.

The finest part of the evening was still to come though. And I’m not even talking about the penetration. No, while that was fantastic, I think I liked the next part better. Remember I said sometimes I love the red paddle?

He wanted to use it on me again, this time while I continued to use the vibrator on myself. I was only too quick to oblige.

It was interesting how through the whole thing, I was still in charge. Even when I asked him what he wanted, even when I shuddered under his hand as he spanked me. It was strange, although it shouldn’t be, and wonderful. I was his superior officer, he a lowly subordinate and I was using him for my kicks. Simple as. Whether he spanked me or not, it was my will and I could easily have him court marshalled in a snap, naturally.

I discarded the ridiculously-named “bra belt” and the thong and leant forward on the bed. He spanked me as I toyed with my clit using the vibrator and for a while it was much the same as the first spanking. Then the rumbling on my clit began to kick in and, as I worked myself towards another orgasm, I found myself wanting more and more and MORE.

“Harder,” I begged and Crush obliged. “Harder,” I cried and he hit harder still. With each gain in arousal I wanted more force, more pain. Soon I was coming hard and Crush was pounding on me as hard as he could. I had never taken this much force for this long before and I kept it up as I rolled into another fantastic climax. I was out of breath, sweating, shaking, I was full of the most wonderful feelings and sensations. I collapsed forward and turned onto my back, gazing at my beautiful lad with wide eyes.

“I love you,” I said, breaking character momentarily.

“I love you too,” he replied.

The sex that followed was frantic and amazing. Once I’d warmed to the large cock inside me, I told him he could go as hard or soft as he liked. I think he tried to teach me a lesson and soon I was bouncing, shrieking, revelling in the wonderful pleasure/pain of his rough thrusts. He came inside me after a time and we flopped next to each other, spent… ♦

Bruising

10/100

Blacksilk’s Fantasies #2 – Playing Doctors and Nurses

♦ This is the second in a series of posts of diary entries from the little book of fantasies that Fractal and I keep. You can read the first entry in the series here.

Fractal was very silly recently and got a little inebriated and managed to fall and cut his chin and knee up a little nastily. So I posited that when I visit this weekend I’d have to nurse him better, (to which he immediately claimed that he’d injured his manly bits in the process and they’d need extra attention) and the conversation soon turned to sexy nurse outfits.

And that got me thinking. That night, in bed, feeling a little frisky in his absence I got thinking in further and started to dream up this little fantasy as I touched myself… ♦

We suspend disbelief for a while and decide to try out something a little different in the way of roleplay, wearing costumes and taking on different roles than we have before. I am dressed as a sexy nurse in a little hat and a tight white outfit, short-skirted and revealing; you are dressed in a shirt, trousers, a white coat and white gloves with a stethoscope draped around your neck. You make the pretence of needing to feel in your pocket for something but, as a diligent doctor, you cannot possibly make your doctor’s gloves unhygienic by doing so, or so you tell me. You address me as ‘nurse’ and ask me to help you. I feel in your pocket but all that is there is the outline of your sex, already hard through the fabric as you see me in my skimpy costume.

You gasp, not in pleasure, but in fake pain and claim that my sudden touch has caused you injury to your sex. You insist that, as a nurse, it is my medical duty to try and make it better and I, playing the innocent say “of course, Doctor”, pull down your zip and release your hard cock into my hands. I cover my hands and your sex in a layer of massage oil before beginning to stroke it, softly at first and then more firmly, pretending not to notice your breathing get heavy just as you pretend to try and hide it. I run my hands over your cock then switch to firm, swift circles on the tip of it, which I know you enjoy, making sure to pass my fingers over the underside of the rim.

“This still isn’t working, Nurse,” you say with a glint in your eye, “perhaps, you could try using your mouth?” I pause a moment, unsure if this is standard medical procedure but, knowing you are in charge and wishing to be obedient, I kneel and take you into my mouth, sucking slowly at your cock. When you are satisfied with this you stop me and tell me that you feel much better but that you have noticed something worrying. I ask what it is and you tell me to turn around and bend over. I do so, and you can see, just as you suspected, that I am wearing no underwear under my uniform, you take a quick gloved feel of my behind before standing me up again and looking stern. You tell me that it’s a hygiene breach to walk around like that and I implore you not to tell anyone.

Sepia Hospital

“Please, I’ll do anything, I beg you.” I say and you reply “I’m afraid, however, that you’ll have to be punished for your bad behaviour. Bend over again.”

“Yes, doctor”

As I do so you lift up the skirt of my uniform and I gasp as you spank me firmly on the behind. You continue this and I can feel myself getting more and more wet as I let out a moan with each stinging strike. By the time you consider me sufficiently I am aching for you but you have more in store. You tell me I’m looking a little off-colour, unsurprising after my spanking but I don’t question doctor’s orders, you tell me to open the front of my uniform and as I unzip it you surreptitiously place the end of your stethoscope into a nearby cup of ice. When my breasts are uncovered you start to ‘check my breathing’ with the stethoscope, placing the now freezing cold metal onto my skin in various places before pressing it down firmly on each nipple as I gasp in shock.

You keep up a professional act and after making some ‘hmm’-ing noises you tell me you need to take my temperature and once again lean me forward, this time placing my hands on the nearby bed. You flip up my skirt again and whilst I wait in anticipation you remove your trousers and underpants. I can hear the noise of the fabric and grow eager for what is to come next. Instead of what I suspect however, you slowly insert the Wingman, our slim anal vibrator, in the pretence of a thermometer, into my anus, turning up the vibration fully once there. I moan and I you lean forward, from behind, to tease my nipples, all façade of a professional relationship gone with your lust for me. I can feel your hard cock touching teasingly at my labia, circling and rubbing against my clitoris. But you do not enter me.

Within no time at all I cannot take it any longer, “please, Doctor, please take me. Please.” And you finally enter me, moving slowly in and out. “Faster, please!” I moan and you start thrusting harder and faster, deep into me as the toy vibrates in my ass. “You’ve been a bad girl, Nurse” you say as you pinch and twist my nipples and slap my behind now and then. After the pleasure has built up to such an extent that neither of us can take it any more I start to shudder in climax as you come inside me. When we are both sated we stop, and fall into each others arms for a while.

♦ Want to read Fractal’s side of the fantasy diary? His first entry in the series can be found here, where he ties me up and licks… ♦