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Witticisms: Sexual Morality

♦ I came across this absolutely fantastic and apt quote about sex and our attitudes towards it by a Norwegian writer. Heck, you all know me enough by now to know I think this way, but it just sums it up so well and I really think it bears repeating. On sexual morality and why it is mostly bull… ♦

People speak of ‘sexual morality,’ but that is a misleading expression. There is no special morality for sex. No matter what you do with yourself, whether you go to bed with girls or with boys, and no matter what it occurs to you to do with them or with yourself, no moral rule applies to that sphere of activity other than the principles that govern every aspect of life: honesty, courage, common humanity, consideration. – Jens Bjørnboe

Sin

♦ It’s Sinful Sunday again and I thought it fitting to put up a picture I drew some time back on the theme of “sin”. I haven’t much time to take naughty pictures this Sunday, what with packing to move house and everything, so this will have to do. You can see more of my original drawings on my photos and art page. Do make sure to click on the picture below for a bigger view that actually looks a lot crisper. Shrinking it down slightly for the blog always ruins the quality slightly.

It seems quite influenced by old-school tattoo style, which sounds like me! Even though this picture was drawn a little while back, I still rather like it, actually. Sexy, sinful and not too awfully drawn! I’d love to know what you think. ♦

 Pleasure’s a sin, and sometimes sin’s a pleasure.
Lord  Byron in Don Juan

Sex – Overheard

♦ OK, so I’ve been keeping a little file of these for a while now, but it’s time to unleash them on my unsuspecting audience. Know the site Overheard Everywhere? It’s basically just somewhere to upload odd and amusing snippets of  conversion you hear in the street, in the shops, wherever.

It’s a bit of a cop-out blog post, I know, but I’m rushed off my feet at the mo’. Hopefully there’ll be something more substantial soon.

Anyway…

Girl: That orgy was like Lego — anyone and everyone on top of each other! You didn’t know what was what, who was who, where someone began or where did they end. It was just a big pile of human building blocks of pleasure.

—–

Geek: Yeah, I’m a big geek, but I still really like sex.

—–

Teenage girl: That’s why I got a coffee this morning, because my mouth tasted like penis.

—–

Elderly professor: Who’s to say Brave New World is a dystopia? I mean, they just did drugs and had sex all day. That sounds like a utopia, if you ask me.

—–

Guy: I mean, she was a one on a binary scale, but…

—–

Girl #1: It’s just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.

 

Girl #2: Why?

 

Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.

—–

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?

 

Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.

—–

Professor: Please write legibly. If I had wanted to go blind, I would have masturbated to excess as a child.

—–

Dude: Have you ever masturbated?

Chick: Uh… No…

 

Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’

—–

Male stripper: … And I was doing this chick up the ass, and, I mean, it was awesome, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow I was being incredibly rude.

—–

Interviewer: Why did you choose to star in the soft porn cult classic Caligula, in which you danced in a cone bra?

 

Helen Mirren: It was an irresistible mix of art and genitals.

Witticisms: the Art of Dressing Well

Vintage Dress

“A dress has no meaning unless it makes a man want to take it off.”

François Sagan

Witticisms: Love

Riding that Train

“Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you’ve never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It’s not love I’m describing. I’m thinking of a monorail.”

Jack Handey

Witticisms: The Flapper

Alabaster Flapper

♦ “If skirts get any shorter
Said the flapper with a sob
There’ll be two more cheeks to powder
And one more place to ‘bob’”

James Laver ♦

Witticisms: Undergarments

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Pink Arse
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“Brevity is the soul of lingerie”
Dorothy Parker