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Moonglasses

♦ Every time I look at my LELO Luna Beads, I think how they’d make fantastic stoopid-lookin’ eyes for some of the toys or masks or people (hey, Crush) I’ve got lying around. So this time I did it. I was a bit pressed for time, so I mucked the lighting up on the right of the shot, but I think it’s juuuust cute enough to work anyway. So I plonked these kegel balls (the phrase “jiggle balls” can fuck off) on their fluffy little faces. Smooth customers.

For those who are wondering, the little fluffy ones featured here are the completely adorable pigs from Sanrio’s Monokuro Boo (lit: “monochrome oink”) franchise of useless cutesy things I’ve never needed but have bought anyway. I’ve never been able to work out if the two pigs (who love each other very much and are “an attractive couple, even though we don’t know whether they have thick heads, or they are sullen”) have individual names, but I call mine Mono and Kuro. Unsurprisingly, I got these in Japan.

Aren’t they awesome? I think the style suits the delicate and somewhat cute colours of the Luna Beads and they certainly look ridiculously cool and also just ridiculous in their moonglasses. They should start an adorable Pigsploitation detective agency. ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Ten Hut! – 100 Orgasms

♦ “Close your eyes,” I said and he did. He lay back on the bed and shut them firmly, anticipating, always eager to obey when he knew I had something planned. I did have something planned, even if that plan had come together in the space of five minutes in the next room, rooting through The Drawers for kink and kit.

We’re having our housewarming this weekend and it’s fancy dress, because fancy dress is fucking fantastic. I’ve been making a military beret for mine and something clicked in my head when I saw it lying there, discarded. I’d been thinking lacy and stockings, but now…

I shut the door behind me and straddled him at the hips.  When I allowed him to open his eyes he saw me dressed in the green beret and a very military-like khaki jumpsuit buttoned to the collarbone. I carried a crop under my arm, swagger stick style. I swear his eyes almost bulged from his head.

He was dressed only in his trousers and he looked beautiful. I’d already been impressed earlier that day by how gorgeous his arms looked: swimmer’s muscles, lean and lithe but strong.

You’ll have to forgive me. I may say it myself, but what he said to me and what I said to him and the roleplaying was so fucking hot. But I forget. My waves of orgasms are too good at wiping out the coastal villages of my memory. The details merge, the lines become brush strokes of eroticism on an Impressionist painting.

So, yeah, I forget stuff.

But the night was swimming with “Yes, Ma’am”s and permission asked and occasional cheek given. I enjoyed ordering him around and domming shit up and punishing insubordination where I found it, rewarding good behaviour too.

I unbuttoned the top of the khaki jumpsuit to show my breasts, naked but for a fishnet bodystocking and, supporting them, an almost Steampunk “bra belt”. My nipples poked through the black fishnet and I leant in towards his face. He sucked on my left nipple with ardour and I gasped and ground into his body beneath me.

Before I knew it, I was surprising myself with an orgasm. My grinding into him wasn’t even involved! This was all from his attention on one of my nipples and I inwardly praised my body as I shuddered on top of him.

Military-style banter that I so wish I could remember followed. Trust me: fucking hot. Crush respectfully suggested we try the experiment again to see if we could reproduce those results and I agreed, but this time I demanded to lie on my back.

He took my nipple in his mouth again and he began to suck, but my nipple wouldn’t be so easily swayed this time. No matter. As he sucked hard I began to rub my crotch over my jumpsuit and, not that he knew that, my black PVC thong underneath. I rubbed furiously, so turned on by his desire and the sheer fucking hotness of it all. Soon I was shuddering, a second orgasm rippling through me.

Now Crush was bold with lust and, as we switched places again, asked me if he could spank me.

Well, I was in charge as his Commanding Officer, so what to do? But a filthy thought occurred. I quite like the idea of hurting a man, something he might not necessarily like, as a form of payment by him to get something he really wants. I’m not sure what it is about it. Perhaps the idea that his lusts have overtaken him so?

In any case, I offered the price of five pinches of his nipple for an undefined period of spanking me. He accepted nervously and I began, gently, to pinch him. I brusquely told him to count and he did. But he tried to be cheeky, tried to count three when it was two. So I started again. He counted the fourth pinch before I’d actually done it, so guess what? I started again.

This time there were no mistakes and I dismounted him, leaning forward on hands and knees as he spanked me with the red paddle. Sometimes I hate that paddle. Sometimes, as you’ll see, I love it. But right now it was a hard one to take.

Take it I did, though.

Now naked, he sat on the edge of the bed and I produced my black metal handcuffs from the little pile of toys I’d brought in. I set them down and, hot from our exertions, stripped the khaki jumpsuit from my body. Now he saw the thong and the full glory of my bodystocking as its netting covered my sticky-hot curves.

The hat, I noticed, fell some time during the spanking. Now it was pure kinkwear, but we kept up our roles nonetheless. My geek society would be proud. :P

I opened the cuffs, managing to hook them into my fishnet on the way. Sigh. Unhooking them, I instead attached them to my intended target. I grabbed them by the chain and hoicked his arms above his head, scratching at his chest and back and eyeing him fiercely.

Letting go, I made him scoot up the bed and knelt between his legs, bringing my beloved Tango vibe with me. I placed it between my labia, cushioned by them and kept in place by my thong and thighs. I turned it on and felt it throb. I kissed my way up Crush’s body, crawling seductively, reaching his cock and…

…running my tongue playfully a centimetre above his shaft as if licking, but not. A tease. A torture.

The kisses marched up his chest and neck before I turned and swooped back down on his cock, licking for real this time, making love to him with tongue and lips. I was feral, enthusiastic, I moaned when he leaked pre-come and writhed back and forth, managing to rock against the vibrator nestled in my folds. I came once, twice as I licked fervently and then collapsed on his cock.

I offered to let him fuck me, right then and there. But Crush was on task. He knew I had a goal to reach and figured one more towards it before moving on couldn’t hurt. He asked me to carry on licking and sucking and coming on my bullet vibe, but this time he wanted some dirty talk. And, narcissist that he is, heh, dirty talk about him.

So I told him as I licked him about how hot he makes me, how sexy he looks, his gorgeous body, his thick cock and I licked and sucked. I wriggled and turned up the rumble on my vibrator until I came again, moaning on his cock, gagging myself with his erection.

The finest part of the evening was still to come though. And I’m not even talking about the penetration. No, while that was fantastic, I think I liked the next part better. Remember I said sometimes I love the red paddle?

He wanted to use it on me again, this time while I continued to use the vibrator on myself. I was only too quick to oblige.

It was interesting how through the whole thing, I was still in charge. Even when I asked him what he wanted, even when I shuddered under his hand as he spanked me. It was strange, although it shouldn’t be, and wonderful. I was his superior officer, he a lowly subordinate and I was using him for my kicks. Simple as. Whether he spanked me or not, it was my will and I could easily have him court marshalled in a snap, naturally.

I discarded the ridiculously-named “bra belt” and the thong and leant forward on the bed. He spanked me as I toyed with my clit using the vibrator and for a while it was much the same as the first spanking. Then the rumbling on my clit began to kick in and, as I worked myself towards another orgasm, I found myself wanting more and more and MORE.

“Harder,” I begged and Crush obliged. “Harder,” I cried and he hit harder still. With each gain in arousal I wanted more force, more pain. Soon I was coming hard and Crush was pounding on me as hard as he could. I had never taken this much force for this long before and I kept it up as I rolled into another fantastic climax. I was out of breath, sweating, shaking, I was full of the most wonderful feelings and sensations. I collapsed forward and turned onto my back, gazing at my beautiful lad with wide eyes.

“I love you,” I said, breaking character momentarily.

“I love you too,” he replied.

The sex that followed was frantic and amazing. Once I’d warmed to the large cock inside me, I told him he could go as hard or soft as he liked. I think he tried to teach me a lesson and soon I was bouncing, shrieking, revelling in the wonderful pleasure/pain of his rough thrusts. He came inside me after a time and we flopped next to each other, spent… ♦

Bruising

10/100

A Purring Machine – 100 Orgasms

♦ I’m doing a little project that was suggested by the wonderful Bondara sex shop thanks to a very serendipitous misread of a title online. What project is this? Well, only to have 100 orgasms in 10 days and write some sexy things about my experiences .

It sounded ridiculous at first and then I thought, hey, that’s only ten a day. It’s totally doable and weirdly intriguing. So I mentally signed myself up. I hadn’t planned to start until the weekend but then I noticed: it’s apparently National Orgasm Day today. How could I not start today?

So, I shall be writing a series of different things about what I get up to in my quest for roughly ten orgasms a day. This blog post is the first. I don’t have a particular long-term plan in my head for this little series, as I’m quite looking forward to seeing what my orgasms inspire in me, what comes out if I go in with an open mind and a blank sheet.

Anyway, below is a little bit of poetry based on orgasms number one and two of 100: a wake-up wank on a dozy morning. Please let me know what you think!  2/100 ♦

Sleep seeps into my bones
Like hot water into a sinking teabag
My face is fire, eyes heavy, mind a cartwheel
Of wheeling bodies and sandbags

I haul myself to solitude, away from the buzz
Trudge and slump
My idle hand seeks to make a plaything of me
Hisses between white hills and grey cloud cover
To a slumbering country of pinks and troughs
Where it plays
Staccato rhythms, the lark ascending
My middle finger circles, a motorist on a starting handle
A dynamo whirring
Cranking, shooting a Tesla coil hum through my wires
Static shivers along once-sleeping skin

Or perhaps I play
The fireman to my traction engine
The stoker of my coals
I feed the furnace, steam seeps between my thighs
The boiler of my cunt builds and sends
Hot, damp power through my body
White fills my vision
My body shudders and shakes, reawakened
Reborn, renewed, replenished
Bolts fly from their housings
An engine explosion
A singing, ringing crescendo of steam and smoke and white-hot metal
A hissing hot leak

Fingerprints dance over sodden skin
An aftershock blooms large and causes
Tender flesh to tremble again
A second spike

Lightning: a modern Prometheus cries “Live!”
The fog of sleep lifts
Dawn hits and my nerves turn to busy industry
I wake for the first time since
Opening my eyes
And trundle, alert, a purring machine

Alien Probe

♦ OK, so when I said on Twitter that I wasn’t going to post a Toy With Me Tuesday last week so that (among other things) I’d have time to take some fancy photos, I may have been being optimistic. I didn’t. But I didn’t because I spent all weekend coming up with a story for a zombie erotica anthology and starting to write it, so I think that’s pretty worthwhile.

So, yeah, today’s picture is a little last minute again. I apologise. I hope it still makes the grade though. Whilst I didn’t at all accomplish what I was trying to with this shot, I think it’s an interesting one. The toy looks cool in the light and I like the reflection of the camera from different angles. It makes the toy look sort of alien. I like to imagine I’m a reporter doing some snooping and I’ve found this weird probe thing while looking through government files, heh. What could this thing be?

Well, any ideas? Click to embiggen and for the answer (in your address bar). ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

e[lust] #38


Photo courtesy of Lucy and Alex of A Couple of Wankers

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #39? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Wrong On Every Level – “If you wouldn’t ask them to borrow $20 bucks, how the fuck is it ok for you to ask them to fuck you? Oh right, it’s not.”

Good Girl – “She nearly melted into me. When I finally released her, she exhaled–she had been holding her breath.”

The Three Minute Game – “The timer went off and I breathed out, both a sigh of relief and disappointment that it was over.”

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Bitch– “I don’t let her run the show…but she’s always around. She’s in the background saying: Bullshit”

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

Read More…

Washing Day

♦ As I’ve mentioned, we moved house very recently. Just before we did, I figured it was a good time to have a clear out of all my sex toys, get rid of a few remaining awful things (you’ll hopefully see a post about that shortly) and have a good sort and clean of the awesome ones that were left.

So, I loaded up all my dildos into a canvas bag and traipsed them downstairs to my sink. It was the most fun washing-up I’ve ever done in my life. Genuinely. Here you can see some of the lovely dildos at rest, basking in the sun and slowly drying.

From left to right, top to bottom: the Tantus Acute, Tantus Max O2, Tantus Echo, Tantus Throb and Tantus Adam O2, Tantus Niagara O2 and then the Tantus VIP Super Soft and the Lovemoiselle Elodie. Crikey, I do actually own a ton of Tantus, don’t I? And yet not enough! Don’t worry, I do own other brands. Just not in such quantities.

Again taken with my phone, hopefully I’ll be back up to real-camera-speed by next week! ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Sin

♦ It’s Sinful Sunday again and I thought it fitting to put up a picture I drew some time back on the theme of “sin”. I haven’t much time to take naughty pictures this Sunday, what with packing to move house and everything, so this will have to do. You can see more of my original drawings on my photos and art page. Do make sure to click on the picture below for a bigger view that actually looks a lot crisper. Shrinking it down slightly for the blog always ruins the quality slightly.

It seems quite influenced by old-school tattoo style, which sounds like me! Even though this picture was drawn a little while back, I still rather like it, actually. Sexy, sinful and not too awfully drawn! I’d love to know what you think. ♦

 Pleasure’s a sin, and sometimes sin’s a pleasure.
Lord  Byron in Don Juan

Discworld and Dildos

♦ I love my camera (even though it EATS batteries) and I really want to get properly good at photography, so I’ve been doing artsy shots of sex toys for my reviews for a little while now. I love thinking up a scene that will complement the toy and I love getting a good shot. Sex toys are, in the main, sexy in and of themselves, I think. Not all of them, certainly, but some are practically works of art and some inspire lust in me by sight alone.

I love to see good photography of toys because I just don’t think there’s enough of it, so I’m thrilled to see Nymphomaniac Ness come up with a weekly meme that focuses on artsy shots of sex toys. Great idea and you couldn’t wish for a better reviewer to lead the charge!

Without further ado, here’s my very first entry to the very first Toy With Me Tuesday

Until recently when my Lovehoney Satin Drawstring Toy Bags arrived, I had taken to storing many of my dildos up on the top shelf of my bookshelf after cleaning. Many of them stand up nicely on their own and why muck about rummaging in a drawer when I can just grab them when I want them? So here’s the Tantus Echo, Throb, Niagara O2, Acute and Adam O2.

Sure, this isn’t my best sex toy photo in technical or imaginative terms, but it’s recent and you haven’t seen it before and I think it might make you grin. Good old Tantus toys in front of good old Terry Pratchett, both fantastic craftspeople in their differing arenas. Discworld and dildos, what more could a gal want? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday