♦ Every time I look at my LELO Luna Beads, I think how they’d make fantastic stoopid-lookin’ eyes for some of the toys or masks or people (hey, Crush) I’ve got lying around. So this time I did it. I was a bit pressed for time, so I mucked the lighting up on the right of the shot, but I think it’s juuuust cute enough to work anyway. So I plonked these kegel balls (the phrase “jiggle balls” can fuck off) on their fluffy little faces. Smooth customers.
For those who are wondering, the little fluffy ones featured here are the completely adorable pigs from Sanrio’s Monokuro Boo (lit: “monochrome oink”) franchise of useless cutesy things I’ve never needed but have bought anyway. I’ve never been able to work out if the two pigs (who love each other very much and are “an attractive couple, even though we don’t know whether they have thick heads, or they are sullen”) have individual names, but I call mine Mono and Kuro. Unsurprisingly, I got these in Japan.
Aren’t they awesome? I think the style suits the delicate and somewhat cute colours of the Luna Beads and they certainly look ridiculously cool and also just ridiculous in their moonglasses. They should start an adorable Pigsploitation detective agency. ♦
♦ I came across this absolutely fantastic and apt quote about sex and our attitudes towards it by a Norwegian writer. Heck, you all know me enough by now to know I think this way, but it just sums it up so well and I really think it bears repeating. On sexual morality and why it is mostly bull… ♦
People speak of ‘sexual morality,’ but that is a misleading expression. There is no special morality for sex. No matter what you do with yourself, whether you go to bed with girls or with boys, and no matter what it occurs to you to do with them or with yourself, no moral rule applies to that sphere of activity other than the principles that govern every aspect of life: honesty, courage, common humanity, consideration. – Jens Bjørnboe
♦ “Close your eyes,” I said and he did. He lay back on the bed and shut them firmly, anticipating, always eager to obey when he knew I had something planned. I did have something planned, even if that plan had come together in the space of five minutes in the next room, rooting through The Drawers for kink and kit.
We’re having our housewarming this weekend and it’s fancy dress, because fancy dress is fucking fantastic. I’ve been making a military beret for mine and something clicked in my head when I saw it lying there, discarded. I’d been thinking lacy and stockings, but now…
I shut the door behind me and straddled him at the hips. When I allowed him to open his eyes he saw me dressed in the green beret and a very military-like khaki jumpsuit buttoned to the collarbone. I carried a crop under my arm, swagger stick style. I swear his eyes almost bulged from his head.
He was dressed only in his trousers and he looked beautiful. I’d already been impressed earlier that day by how gorgeous his arms looked: swimmer’s muscles, lean and lithe but strong.
You’ll have to forgive me. I may say it myself, but what he said to me and what I said to him and the roleplaying was so fucking hot. But I forget. My waves of orgasms are too good at wiping out the coastal villages of my memory. The details merge, the lines become brush strokes of eroticism on an Impressionist painting.
So, yeah, I forget stuff.
But the night was swimming with “Yes, Ma’am”s and permission asked and occasional cheek given. I enjoyed ordering him around and domming shit up and punishing insubordination where I found it, rewarding good behaviour too.
I unbuttoned the top of the khaki jumpsuit to show my breasts, naked but for a fishnet bodystocking and, supporting them, an almost Steampunk “bra belt”. My nipples poked through the black fishnet and I leant in towards his face. He sucked on my left nipple with ardour and I gasped and ground into his body beneath me.
Before I knew it, I was surprising myself with an orgasm. My grinding into him wasn’t even involved! This was all from his attention on one of my nipples and I inwardly praised my body as I shuddered on top of him.
Military-style banter that I so wish I could remember followed. Trust me: fucking hot. Crush respectfully suggested we try the experiment again to see if we could reproduce those results and I agreed, but this time I demanded to lie on my back.
He took my nipple in his mouth again and he began to suck, but my nipple wouldn’t be so easily swayed this time. No matter. As he sucked hard I began to rub my crotch over my jumpsuit and, not that he knew that, my black PVC thong underneath. I rubbed furiously, so turned on by his desire and the sheer fucking hotness of it all. Soon I was shuddering, a second orgasm rippling through me.
Now Crush was bold with lust and, as we switched places again, asked me if he could spank me.
Well, I was in charge as his Commanding Officer, so what to do? But a filthy thought occurred. I quite like the idea of hurting a man, something he might not necessarily like, as a form of payment by him to get something he really wants. I’m not sure what it is about it. Perhaps the idea that his lusts have overtaken him so?
In any case, I offered the price of five pinches of his nipple for an undefined period of spanking me. He accepted nervously and I began, gently, to pinch him. I brusquely told him to count and he did. But he tried to be cheeky, tried to count three when it was two. So I started again. He counted the fourth pinch before I’d actually done it, so guess what? I started again.
This time there were no mistakes and I dismounted him, leaning forward on hands and knees as he spanked me with the red paddle. Sometimes I hate that paddle. Sometimes, as you’ll see, I love it. But right now it was a hard one to take.
Take it I did, though.
Now naked, he sat on the edge of the bed and I produced my black metal handcuffs from the little pile of toys I’d brought in. I set them down and, hot from our exertions, stripped the khaki jumpsuit from my body. Now he saw the thong and the full glory of my bodystocking as its netting covered my sticky-hot curves.
The hat, I noticed, fell some time during the spanking. Now it was pure kinkwear, but we kept up our roles nonetheless. My geek society would be proud. :P
I opened the cuffs, managing to hook them into my fishnet on the way. Sigh. Unhooking them, I instead attached them to my intended target. I grabbed them by the chain and hoicked his arms above his head, scratching at his chest and back and eyeing him fiercely.
Letting go, I made him scoot up the bed and knelt between his legs, bringing my beloved Tango vibe with me. I placed it between my labia, cushioned by them and kept in place by my thong and thighs. I turned it on and felt it throb. I kissed my way up Crush’s body, crawling seductively, reaching his cock and…
…running my tongue playfully a centimetre above his shaft as if licking, but not. A tease. A torture.
The kisses marched up his chest and neck before I turned and swooped back down on his cock, licking for real this time, making love to him with tongue and lips. I was feral, enthusiastic, I moaned when he leaked pre-come and writhed back and forth, managing to rock against the vibrator nestled in my folds. I came once, twice as I licked fervently and then collapsed on his cock.
I offered to let him fuck me, right then and there. But Crush was on task. He knew I had a goal to reach and figured one more towards it before moving on couldn’t hurt. He asked me to carry on licking and sucking and coming on my bullet vibe, but this time he wanted some dirty talk. And, narcissist that he is, heh, dirty talk about him.
So I told him as I licked him about how hot he makes me, how sexy he looks, his gorgeous body, his thick cock and I licked and sucked. I wriggled and turned up the rumble on my vibrator until I came again, moaning on his cock, gagging myself with his erection.
The finest part of the evening was still to come though. And I’m not even talking about the penetration. No, while that was fantastic, I think I liked the next part better. Remember I said sometimes I love the red paddle?
He wanted to use it on me again, this time while I continued to use the vibrator on myself. I was only too quick to oblige.
It was interesting how through the whole thing, I was still in charge. Even when I asked him what he wanted, even when I shuddered under his hand as he spanked me. It was strange, although it shouldn’t be, and wonderful. I was his superior officer, he a lowly subordinate and I was using him for my kicks. Simple as. Whether he spanked me or not, it was my will and I could easily have him court marshalled in a snap, naturally.
I discarded the ridiculously-named “bra belt” and the thong and leant forward on the bed. He spanked me as I toyed with my clit using the vibrator and for a while it was much the same as the first spanking. Then the rumbling on my clit began to kick in and, as I worked myself towards another orgasm, I found myself wanting more and more and MORE.
“Harder,” I begged and Crush obliged. “Harder,” I cried and he hit harder still. With each gain in arousal I wanted more force, more pain. Soon I was coming hard and Crush was pounding on me as hard as he could. I had never taken this much force for this long before and I kept it up as I rolled into another fantastic climax. I was out of breath, sweating, shaking, I was full of the most wonderful feelings and sensations. I collapsed forward and turned onto my back, gazing at my beautiful lad with wide eyes.
“I love you,” I said, breaking character momentarily.
“I love you too,” he replied.
The sex that followed was frantic and amazing. Once I’d warmed to the large cock inside me, I told him he could go as hard or soft as he liked. I think he tried to teach me a lesson and soon I was bouncing, shrieking, revelling in the wonderful pleasure/pain of his rough thrusts. He came inside me after a time and we flopped next to each other, spent… ♦
♦ I’m doing a little project that was suggested by the wonderful Bondara sex shop thanks to a very serendipitous misread of a title online. What project is this? Well, only to have 100 orgasms in 10 days and write some sexy things about my experiences .
It sounded ridiculous at first and then I thought, hey, that’s only ten a day. It’s totally doable and weirdly intriguing. So I mentally signed myself up. I hadn’t planned to start until the weekend but then I noticed: it’s apparently National Orgasm Day today. How could I not start today?
So, I shall be writing a series of different things about what I get up to in my quest for roughly ten orgasms a day. This blog post is the first. I don’t have a particular long-term plan in my head for this little series, as I’m quite looking forward to seeing what my orgasms inspire in me, what comes out if I go in with an open mind and a blank sheet.
Anyway, below is a little bit of poetry based on orgasms number one and two of 100: a wake-up wank on a dozy morning. Please let me know what you think! 2/100 ♦
Sleep seeps into my bones
Like hot water into a sinking teabag
My face is fire, eyes heavy, mind a cartwheel
Of wheeling bodies and sandbags
I haul myself to solitude, away from the buzz
Trudge and slump
My idle hand seeks to make a plaything of me
Hisses between white hills and grey cloud cover
To a slumbering country of pinks and troughs
Where it plays
Staccato rhythms, the lark ascending
My middle finger circles, a motorist on a starting handle
A dynamo whirring
Cranking, shooting a Tesla coil hum through my wires
Static shivers along once-sleeping skin
Or perhaps I play
The fireman to my traction engine
The stoker of my coals
I feed the furnace, steam seeps between my thighs
The boiler of my cunt builds and sends
Hot, damp power through my body
White fills my vision
My body shudders and shakes, reawakened
Reborn, renewed, replenished
Bolts fly from their housings
An engine explosion
A singing, ringing crescendo of steam and smoke and white-hot metal
A hissing hot leak
Fingerprints dance over sodden skin
An aftershock blooms large and causes
Tender flesh to tremble again
A second spike
Lightning: a modern Prometheus cries “Live!”
The fog of sleep lifts
Dawn hits and my nerves turn to busy industry
I wake for the first time since
Opening my eyes
And trundle, alert, a purring machine
♦ Recently I caused a minor stir on Twitter with a tweet showing off a lovely white t-shirt. It makes my boobs look huge, I said. Well, with a good bra underneath, at least.
The lovely Lady Pandorah voiced a thought that occurs to me every time I wear that top: wet t-shirts. It just looks like a wet t-shirt top. I’d been meaning to do it and that comment gave me just the motivation I needed. Hell, I was even having a shower when I got home anyway.
So I took everything off, including the bra of course, put the t-shirt back on and stepped in. When I was soaked to the skin, I stepped out and took a couple of self shots. I think they turned out pretty hot, so if you need a cold shower afterwards to calm down, just remember to wear something nice! ♦
Don’t forget to be sinful this Sunday! Check out all the Sinful Sunday entries below…
♦ It’s been a long time since I wrote a post showing you some of the more unusual search terms that people are using when they find (and click on) my blog. Heck, the post I wrote about it last was years ago now. It’s fun and I should do this more often and, let’s be honest, this writing is taking up a lot of my spare time so I need something less taxing to post here that isn’t another blimmin’ picture. My writing deadline is Monday, however, so things should pick up a bit here then.
Anyway, without further ado, here are the good, bad and downright weird ways people have found me over the last month or so… ♦
bacon dildo – This person has had truly the world’s greatest idea. To the fridge! Until then, Baconlube will just have to do.
a good spanking is given hard with the hand – Damn straight.
angel demon lesbians – Perhaps this sort of thing is why this is the most popular post OF ALL TIME on my blog.
women wearing fedoras naked – I’ll get behind that!
alabaster buttocks – Teehee
fat bottomed submissive – Hi. Nice to meet you.
gorgeous tomboy fuck – I’ll be in my bunk.
so many tits – THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!
victoria coren – Rrowr! Perhaps naked in a fedora with bacon?
dice in vagina – They never actually made it quite that far.
jelly dong sex pics – Fuck no. About the worst thing you can do to me is show me incredibly hot porn that happens to use a disgusting jelly toy. So right with so much wrongness!
wonderfull erotic child sex – Eww. Go straight to the police, do not pass Go.
sex badly – How dare you!
rohypnol – Consent is sexy, people
runny pussy – Ick!
the durex slipped off his huge black cock just as he came inside me – That is not a good thing.
stimulus package – I do not think my blog was what you were after here.
barbie with genuine tits – I don’t… even.
anally inserted tumblr – Question: Does a website have a flared base?
honest cocks – None of your deceitful dicks here.
fetish, being thrown into ocean – Really? Huh. That is a new one!
tease him with your vagina scent – Do eeet!
bdsm in discworld – I am intrigued where you were going with this.
is patchouli pussy – Probably not.
slipping my cock into a warm jar of honey – Better idea: slipping a warm jar of honey into my face.
accessorize for cruel self bondage – Perhaps a shawl or bracelet of some kind. With spikes maybe.
my newly waxed penis – WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
♦ Because you see what I did there? Feel free to groan. And perhaps not in the way I’d normally expect. Anyway, my pinwheels need to come out to play more often. I’m hoping to get a bit of fun with them today in fact. I think it’s about time Crush tied me up and made me wriggle under their little spikes. Until then, here are some pictures from the last time I got them out. The pinwheels, I mean.
Now, the one below isn’t exactly the best quality, it was a little blurry before compression, but it’s my first attempt at a GIF on here! Aren’t you awfully impressed? Now that I know it’s that easy, I might just have to do it again sometime. Does anyone have any requests? ♦
Come and be sinful with us this Sunday…