About Me

♦ Aren’t we all a bunch of prudes? It sometimes seems like it.  Despite the claims of ‘sexing up’ on TV, in films, in the media and in shops, despite tabloid prurience, despite free Internet porn and an Ann Summers on every high street, sex is still a big taboo. You should certainly be having it, Cosmopolitan makes that clear, but if you are you definitely shouldn’t talk about it. Or go too wild with it. Or do anything unusual.

Dominating, submitting, switching, spanking, tying up, begging, punishing, these are things not to be idly discussed in your everyday life. Even these days people will blush, stare and clam up. This blog is a chance for me to ramble on freely about things which I cannot in the dreaded land of ‘RL’. And, if anyone should ever read it, I hope they’ll find it interesting, titillating in places and hopefully inspiring to try out new things and talk about them.

This blog is my call to revel in being sexy, in sex, in experimenting and in being able to talk freely about what it is that you get up to and what blows your hair back


I’m a 26-year-old linguist living and working in Cardiff. I’m currently in my second ‘proper’ relationship (fourth, if you want to include the rubbish ones). I met Crush at a geeky society at university here and we’ve been friends for nearly five years. I started seeing him sexually during my open relationship with my first love, Fractal. Fractal and I were together for over two and a half years, he was my first and the one to start all of this. Before him I was ashamed of my sexuality, I felt guilty touching myself, thinking of sex. Now I revel in it, he showed me love, sex, BDSM, confidence, kink and changed me for the better.

However, it didn’t quite work out. The open relationship turned both stale and sour as I started to fall for my best friend, Crush. Things ended somewhat messily and it’s a bit of a cautionary tale for anyone thinking of an open relationship or a fling with a friend. However, I’m now in a very happy blossoming relationship with Crush. It’s all very new and exciting and I love him.

I switch sexually, though I have discovered I’ve a tendency to heavily prefer submission. I guess I just like being someone’s little slut. I love being tied up, taken and toyed with. I am also bisexual, something which I struggled with, entirely unnecessarily, for quite some time. Fractal supported me into my first lesbian encounter and it’s now a huge part of my sexuality and who I am.

I dislike modern feminism. I don’t believe in whining about inequality, I don’t believe in the patriarchy, but I also can’t stand being judged based on my sex. I am a tomboy. It was only in the last year or so that I started wearing skirts at all. I like typically boys’ things. I’m a geek. But I now, side-by-side with my rise in confidence, allow myself more girlitude: sexy underwear, make-up, cleavage galore.

I also draw things, recently of a more sexy nature, some of which I’ve put up here alongside the rest of the smut.

In any case, I hope you enjoy reading my blabberings about sex, love and kink. Feel free to contact me at beingblacksilk@gmail.com if you’d like.  ♦

28 responses to “About Me”

  1. K. Jewell says :

    Could you please email me, I have a question.
    -Girl from the US

  2. Graham says :


    Just stumbled across your blog via twitter.
    Lovely to read such openly erotic and sexual musings

    I’ll be back for more!

    Graham (by email)

  3. Blacksilk says :

    Thanks very much and I hope you are, the more the merrier! :)

  4. Blacksilk says :

    Cheers! Welcome to the blog :)

  5. Victoria Rose says :

    Hi Black Silk,

    I represent Durex and have been following your blog, I wondered if you would be interested in testing any of our Play range? We have a new line up of 5 lubes from fruity cocktails to tingle tastic sensations. If you fancy giving them a go, let me know and I can post some out to you.

    Best Regards


  6. Blacksilk says :

    Hi Victoria,

    Thanks very much for your comment and offer. I’ve sent you an email with some details. Look forward to hearing from you!


  7. Glenn A says :

    I believe we are all sexual beings and , so long as two adults are consenting, it doesn’t matter. If a couple are into BDSM- still a bit of a taboo- then so what, they’ve agreed to it. We need to move away from this stuffy man on top of woman crap.
    Also I like your comments on feminism. A lot of it became too extreme when i grew up in the 80s- the women’s committee at my university decided that a Ploughman’s Lunch was sexist and insisted the refectory renamed it a Ploughperson’s Lunch- and hardline feminists became a joke. No one now would take a feminist like that seriously and I do feel sorry for people like Germaine Greer who saw what she started become some silly, irrelevant and anti male movement.

  8. Blacksilk says :

    Exactly, BDSM is just one of the many things that people can enjoy to get off. Safe, sane, consensual – that’s all that matters. And even the first two are mutable.

    And it’s nice to hear someone agree with me on the feminism thing. The thing with the Ploughman’s Lunch at your uni is just ridiculous and unfortunately we’re not entirely rid of that sort of nonsense yet.

    I draw the line at feeling sorry for Germaine Greer though, the woman’s a nutter.

    Cheers for the comment! :)

  9. Dick says :

    Hello Blacksilk – I am enjoying your blog, have had you blog rolled for a few weeks now, and hope my site has sent you some traffic. Can I ask you for a reciprocal link to http://dick-n-jane.com, I’d really appreciate that.

    Thank you!

  10. Blacksilk says :

    Hey Dick, I admit I noticed you’d linked to me, but I hadn’t really had a chance to check your site out much until now. It looks pretty awesome though, definitely going to go back and take a longer look soon. I’ve linked you on here too now :)

    Thanks for the link and the comment!

  11. Lily says :

    Hello again, I’m sorry to have posted the above comment publicly and would like to delete it but I can’t figure out how. Please delete this message and respond via email if you are interested. Otherwise, I’m very sorry to have caused you the inconvenience!

    Thanks so much for your understanding.


  12. Blacksilk says :

    Lily: It’s OK, it doesn’t appear automatically in public here because it had an email address in it. I think you can probably still see it on this page, but no-one else can as I haven’t approved it.

    I’ve read the comment and will get back to you properly by email when I get five minutes! Thanks for getting in touch!

  13. Kevin says :

    Hello Blacksilk – It was a wonderful experience going through quite a few posts of yours. The overall feel that one gets upon reading your stuff is just wonderful and I will definitely keep coming back to read more. I have a lifestyle products site and I would like to have my link listed on your site. I can offer a reciprocal link from my blog.

    Sorry for posting such a comment publicly but, I was unable to find your email address here. Can you please email me at the mentioned address if something can be worked out.


  14. Dick says :

    Dick-n-Jane.com is holding a drawing on August 8th for a book and a game offered by SexIsFun.net and GreatSexGames.com (more than $50 retail value). Because Dick-n-Jane.com is currently in your Blog Roll, you have been automatically entered to win!

    The number of entries you have been awarded today is equal to your blog’s current Google Page Rank times two. You are welcome to enter as many additional times as you choose, please see http://Dick-n-Jane.com for full rules and prize descriptions.

    If you would prefer not to participate and allow the gifts to be awarded elsewhere, please let me know so that I may remove your entries from the pool.

    Thank you for including Dick-n-Jane.com in your blog roll, it is greatly appreciated!

  15. Horseback Riding says :

    Saved as a favorite, I really like your blog!

  16. caneslice says :

    loved your words of expression. I am going to follow your blog. I liked the insightful and honest words you have put in the page. cheers. keep up the good work

    • Blacksilk says :

      Thank you very much for the lovely compliment and for reading the blog! I’m very glad that you like it! Feel free to comment any time you like as I enjoy reading them. :)

  17. Midnight says :

    Love your site and the way you express yourself in such an artistic ways.
    Your a lovely writer!

    • Blacksilk says :

      Oh, thank you so much! I had no idea I counted as “artistic”, that’s lovely. :)

      Thanks so much for commenting and I hope you continue to enjoy the blog! x

  18. LoneWulf says :

    Hello there.
    I found myself here after a link from LJ. Not sure how often you update this, but I am “bound” to find out. heh

    While I agree about your feelings about the pure-iant side of people despite the way things are “sexually pervasive” available in society, I will also disagree and say I like that quality.
    Maybe I’m wrong but I think you are just feeling an inner need to explode with desire and sensation to compensate for years of withholding and repression.
    or as my grandmother used to say “Moderation in all things” (so moderation in sensation as well as moderation in repression)

    I think we are alike in terms of thoughts on feminism. Which is to say, I have ideas based on both of my parents. I tend to detest that people think that women 100 or 200 (etc) years ago were sexually oppressed puppets of overbearing male chauvinism. There was a huge shift of where the woman’s place is in the modern world, and that caused a lack of space for where women fit in it.
    I am a traditionalist in a lot of ways, but I believe that traditionalists always allowed for women to become business people. It’s just that to become a proper business person, you had to prove yourself capable of doing such.
    For example, In this country, there was a woman, who, during the 50’s or 60’s was the head feminist example for aspiring women because she was the first to become a judge.
    Unfortunately, to become a prove yourself to an existing judge that you are capable of knowing law. This feminist twit during the 50’s went before a FEMALE judge. Which is to say, she wasn’t the first female judge in this country and the female judge she had to present to herself was from a 1920’s “totally repressive backward” culture.

    I’m not trying to make a rant here, I just tend to blabber on a bit.

    (just erased about three paragraphs of blabber.)

    Yup! Okay, getting rant-ish now, so I’ll stop.

    I notice many of your posts seem to be from 2+ years ago, so maybe you have gotten on with your real life and post less online.
    Whatever the case, I hope your life is better, and you feel at peace with the world around you. :)

    I like my clean side clean, and my dirty side downright filthy!

    • Blacksilk says :

      Hi and welcome to the blog! I try to update a few times every week but at worst it’ll be one post a fortnight if I’m really busy. :)

      I wouldn’t exactly say I’ve had “years of withholding and repression”! I mean, I’ve been writing this blog for four years so I would’ve thought that if that was the reason I’d have got it out of my system by now. The reason I want to “explode with desire and sensation” is because it is awesome and feels fantastic.

      As for feminism, it’s hard to tell from just one reply, but it doesn’t seem to me like we have that similar ideas, heh! I am very much not a traditionalist when it comes to pretty much anything! Like I say, I’m not entirely sure what you’re getting at (especially with your judge story), but if you’re suggesting that things have basically always been fine for women, I don’t agree. I just think almost all feminists these days have the wrong idea.

      You say you notice many of my posts are from two years ago, that’s true because this blog has been going for 4 years now. But, if you notice, I have lots of recent posts too! In fact, I’d say I’m posting MORE than I used to! I did take a break from summer ’10 to summer ’11, but I’m back for good now.

      If you stick around, you’ll see this is a pretty active blog and I hope you like where it’s going. :)

      • Lonewulf says :

        Understand, this was the first thing I saw when I came here. Most of the responses were from two years ago and then… nothing (okay maybe there was one or two but they seemed like a trickle opposed to the initial posting).

        Thank you for the welcome. :)

        Well, when I say “years” of “repression and withholding” I generally mean the immediate years after puberty. Not sure when it was for you, but for me, started at 8-9 years of age. That I didn’t get sexually active (with another person heh) until my early twenties, seemed like “years of repression” to me.
        It’s the concept of a dam being built up and the water filling up behind it, so that when the dam is released, it is to much relief. (thereby the “exploding”)

        Which yes, it is, and does (“feel fantastic”), nothing wrong with that. My point was to delicately ask “do you really want overt sexuality to be SO out in the open that kids walk down the street with a copy of hustler under their arm?” To me, that’s the reason why people are prude-nt, in spite of being so sexually “out there” (to allow youth to have a moment of innocence and develop their own perversions at their own speed and want).

        You just seemed to vocalize key points on a lot of what my mother and father used to say and they were NOT feminists. In fact they hated feminism.

        My mother was a vice president of a corporation and never once did she use her sex as what promoted her or inhibited her. She worked hard and proved herself worth merit (and use a LOT of clever moxie) to move up the ladder (just like any man would).
        My father didn’t attain the same level of job as my mother and had a job elsewhere. He didn’t want the responsibility and role that my mother had. And as a good spouse, he suggested to her things she should do in her job (to support her). Likewise my grandfather had a no-nothing job and had worked up to a manager position (of a theater) meanwhile his wife (my grandmother) held a sales job (for 60 years! (she lied about her age! XD)) but never wanted to attain a higher position.

        The point of my judge story was to point out that feminists had a glamorized concept of a better world so that a woman could “attain as important a job as a man” (a judge’s position, for instance), yet the goal they wished to attain was ALREADY attained by a woman a generation BEFORE when men still supposedly had a stranglehold on women and subjugated them (BUT because she wasn’t a “feminist” they ignored her achievements).

        To finalize what I was saying about basically you as a traditionalist; think of your own grandmother. While she may have doted and bestowed favors on you when you were young, that doesn’t mean she was a cow that was led around by her ear. She was likely the same spitfire that you are today. She had similar fiscal and social hurdles you have. She likely had the same feeling of concern for “where the world was going” that you might have. She had the same feeling of helplessness at having her voice heard, but did that stop her? She might not have had an internet to voice her opinions, but she used whatever medium was available to share her ideas.
        The rules and setting might have been different, but in the end, they aren’t different in that if she saw something wrong, she would say something, right? The biggest thing that I hate about feminists is that they think that women from 50+years ago were lemmings under the heel of male oppression. My grandmother was NO lemming. Nor was her mother before her. They were strong minded individuals and never settled for anything they didn’t have to. My grandmother was sensible but she was also a flapper*, yet still she denounced feminism too. She was just a girl who wanted to enjoy being a young woman and explore her new freedom of being under her parent’s rule and contest society’s standards, all in the name of fun. Sound a little familiar? Yet, she was born in the late 1800’s!

        People like to think they aren’t “traditional” because traditional suggests “old fashioned”. Nothing new. Same old, same old. To me, it just means people trying to work within an established system without trying to reorder it (drastically).
        To seem like we are doing something new, when we are doing basically the same things our 2000 years ago ancestors were doing; who were thinking THEY were doing something “new” back then too (opposed to the generation before THEM).
        In other words, the more things “change”, the more they stay the same.

        The above accounts for most of the “blabber” that I had written in my first response, because I had anticipated most of your response.

        I’m not really trying to get a rant going here contrary to the above rant. XD
        This is why I hate talking about politics and social issues. Unless you have serious contestation with something I have said above, please let’s let this discussion drop.


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