Review – Durex’s Play Massage Mousse
♦ I turned over onto my front, my bare bottom arched slightly up as I lay, all but naked, on our bed. The room was a little cold and my skin a little chilled; goosebumps were scattered across my thighs. Fractal knelt next to me, admiring the leather jacket that was the only thing keeping me from shivering.
It felt good on. Another bargain from another charity shop: tight, shapely and tough, with smooth lines that encased my flesh, hugging and slightly restraining me.
I wiggled my hips out at Fractal provocatively and he reached for the matte can of massage mousse. It had been a long day for me anyway and relaxation was in order. A perfect opportunity to try out the Play Massage Mousse that Durex had sent me.
The mousse squirted easily onto my skin with that soft, rustly, slurping noise so familiar to such spray cans. It was cold, but not shockingly so. A pleasant, ‘ooh’ sort of chill. I wriggled against the bed and Fractal started to smooth out the foamy, creamy mixture over my ass.
That felt very nice.
It wasn’t the most instantly erotic feeling in the world, but it felt very pleasant, relaxing and intimate. He massaged the mousse carefully and thoroughly, making sure to revisit his favourite areas, the foam making a sort of tchss-tchss noise as it spread. It sounded a fair bit silly, to be honest, and I couldn’t stop giggling.
Luckily, the mousse slowly calmed down into a liquid halfway between lube and massage oil. This was very soon spread down between my legs and into my pussy as my giggles turned to groans.
The spanks came quickly, though I can’t say whether or not the mousse made any difference to their intensity. I cried out as Fractal hit harder and faster, before letting my shudders overcome me.
So far, the mousse was doing fairly well. It wasn’t stupid-hot but it felt lovely, had a fun texture and smelt pleasant but not too strong.
The problem came when I followed my liberal use of it on Fractal’s cock, which he thoroughly enjoyed, with a little over-enthusiastic cocksucking.
It tastes fucking awful. I mean just really, really bad. All cloying and chemical, like washing your mouth out with soap. Icky icky icky. And very, very off-putting.
I gave up on the cocksucking rather quickly, spluttering to get the taste of it out of my mouth. A bit of a mood killer, that. Nonetheless we carried on valiantly, Fractal easing me back onto the bed and slipping his still-moussed sex inside my own well-lubricated one.
At least, I say well-lubricated. Unfortunately in this case, that was pretty much all my doing. The supposed lubricant qualities of this 2-in-1 massage mousse and lube were almost nowhere to be seen. Put it this way, if you’re the kind of person who needs lube, you won’t get anything out of this. And frankly even as an ‘added bonus’ it doesn’t add much: too light and dries too quickly.
Don’t even think about using this for anal. Seriously.
Durex Play Massage Mousse is a fun product, sure. It’s squirty, flirty, it chills slightly and smells like any good beauty product might. It could be good in a play-fight, that’s for sure, but squirty cream still wins out there, because at least then you get to lick it off.
It tastes horrible, it sucks as a lubricant and it’s perhaps a mite too silly to be sexy. On the plus side, it’s different to your average sex product and the packaging doesn’t scream sex, if you consider this a pro. Which I don’t, though hardly a con.
The bottom line? Fun, relaxing and brilliant for a romantic, calming massage or a bit of a giggle. If you’re on the vanilla side of things it’s a fairly unintimidating place to start, as it is easily passed off as a beauty product and is not so risqué that it might threaten. However, it’s no good for people looking for a serious lube or wanting to anything too ‘adventurous’ (like, shock horror, blowjobs).
It really is just a slightly unusual massage lotion, I’m afraid. And for over six quid, not worth my money, personally. But not perhaps worth a look for a couple beginning to explore new ideas. ♦