♦ You should all know by now that I’m a huge fan of androgyny, that I’ve orgasmed in the past by borrowing Fractal’s cock. That I want my own cock, if just for a while, to play with. So, you can imagine that I’ve been wanting a strap-on for a while, really.

The problem is that they’re not exactly beginner’s equipment. There are so many different brands and styles and varieties out there that I didn’t want to pick something without a serious amount of thought. When www.vibrator.com asked me to review another of their sex toys, this seemed like an excellent opportunity for a road test. I’ll be doing this review in sections because I don’t want to delay any longer after such a long test period and because there are so many different elements to strap-ons: comfort, solo use, aesthetics, penetration, the harness, the dildo…

So, just bear with me.

We chose the Vivid Girls Designer Savanna Harness, for a number of reasons: a well-known brand, Vac-u-lock compatible, fits large waists, looks good and, finally, the Savanna had the most sensibly sized cock of the whole Vivid Girls range. The package arrived discreetly, as always, and I was quite ridiculously excited. Like a little girl at Christmas. Or perhaps not quite a little girl, but you know what I mean. I was so excited to have ‘my cock’.

Assembly and Aesthetics

The strap-on came in number of pieces, with a nice diagram to explain how to put it all together. You’ve got the harness itself, the dildo itself, a baseplate and some powder lubricant. The harness has four straps: two which join around the waist and two which pass between the legs and attach at the back to the first set of straps, jock-strap style. The straps are tightened and attached by pulling them through two metal rings, which works surprisingly well; I haven’t had any unexpected loosening yet.

The harness has a hole in the centre of the front panel, behind which you place the baseplate. The plastic ‘prong’ of the baseplate sticks through and you then attach the dildo to it from the front by inserting the prong into the hole at the base of the dildo. This can be a bit tricky as it tends to stick, especially when trying to take the dildo part off, but that’s what the powder lubricant is for.

It’s easy enough to put on, though because the straps attach at the back you might want to get a glamorous assistant to help you since it’s mildly fiddly. That or a mirror. Once the straps are the right size you can just step out of it rather than detach and re-attach. The harness looks nice too. The whole range is in pretty good colours too (I actually get the impression its the same harness each time): pale blue, pale green, pale purple and….pale pink, but we’ll skip over that. The white one is a nice subtle effect. You can almost forget it’s there to look at it.

The dildo is also aesthetically very pleasant, though the see-through might seem strange to some. I like it. Quite original. And not pink. Comfort-wise, it’s pretty good. The only real problem is that it gets quite sticky when you get quite hot and sweaty, which you can imagine would be happening a lot, and so it sort of sticks to your skin. Perhaps I have the straps slightly too tight or perhaps this kind of thing is quite normal, but either way I don’t really find it a problem. It just means you have to unpeel it from you when you’re done. Some might have a problem with that, but I actually find it mildly fun. Om nom nom, pleasure/pain! ;)

I find the cock doesn’t quite look as perky as I’d like. It droops a bit, tip hanging slightly lower than in the photo above. I’d like a higher pointing ‘erection’, really. More jutting. But it’s a personal choice thing, really.

I suppose the last point I want to make about it without talking about it in use is about the smell. It is very strong. A sickly smell, too. Sweet and quite off-putting. Fractal at the very least had a very hard time tolerating it. He didn’t want to be near it, it travelled far and made the room smell funny and it also made your hands and genitals smell like it after touching them. I don’t know if this is a problem with all strap-ons or even with all strap-ons of this material or whether it would in fact get much better with time or with repeated washing, but it is certainly a bit of a problem in the short -term. Whether it’s an inconvenience or deal-breaker is going to depend, though. Personally I could cope but I really wish I didn’t have to.

All in all, the harness is comfortable, the cock is pleasing, the assembly is easy and the look is good. On the other hand, it reeks to high heaven of the inside of a new plastic pencil case and may stick in the heat. That said, so far, so awesome. It’s possible I’m enchanted merely by the idea of having one, but I don’t think so. To me it seems that the Savanna Harness is a really decent strap-on, at least in terms of look, feel and ease of use. But what about the fun I’ve had using it? How does it feel? Well, for that, you’ll have to wait just a bit…

To be continued… ♦