♦ My anti-feminist rant continues, huzzah! For the first part of this see Why Women Disgust Me – Part 1
So, this is the first debate about the points I moaned about from the Ann Summers party. Me and a couple of people who I shall name Bint and One Post, just for kicks :P
Bint said she’d rather continue being a feminist as she wanted gender equality. Not just for women, but for men as well.
Bint: There are guys around that believe women like being roughly-handled and have no feelings in our boobs or nether regions. A single experience with that kind of guy is sufficient to convince you of the ‘vibrators Vs men’ statement being true. You’ll probably come back with “why not just re-educate him?” to which I’ll just shrug and tell you that some guys just don’t wanna listen I guess.
Blacksilk: Odd. I rather like gender equality as well. Which is exactly why I hate feminism. Anyway, I really *do* like being handled roughly. Of course, not so much that I’ll exclude everything else, but I like it.
I’ve had encounters with a couple of men who were like that, but I didn’t even consider thinking the ridiculously ill thought-out notion that this instantly means that men are inferior to vibrators. If nothing else that idea ignores all the extra bits, besides sex, that a relationship brings. Sex is not everything. And even if it were I’d always take a real actual man over a bit of silicon and a motor.
Whether there are guys who are crap in the sack or not, and I’m sure there are just as I’m certain there are women who’d get nil points, to generalise that “you can do infinitely better on your own” is not just simple-minded but incredibly offensive. It sets back how men are viewed, and indeed how women are viewed, by a large amount.
Can it make a decent cup of tea though?
Bint: Mind you, the few men that I’ve had experience with were brief flings and so there was no real point trying with them. I just moved on and I got over it. Personally I’m not keen on sex toys as they seem like too much hassle for so little.
Anyway, the key reason I’d say I’m a feminist is because “feminism is not grounded in the basis of one’s gender, but in rejecting and refuting sexist oppression politically, socially, privately, linguistically, and otherwise.” (Blacksilk: I’d like to point out that this quote comes from Wikipedia. Truly a woman who knows where to get her facts from.)
Blacksilk: If feminism isn’t on the basis of one’s gender then why call it feminism? Why not call it egalitarianism or something like that? Anti-sexism, I-want-everyone-to-just-shut-up-and-be-equal-ism, whatever, but when you bring gender into the name that’s not a good sign.
Feminism is based on women. And it isn’t, on the whole, an equality movement. Feminists do not endorse, with equality, men’s rights. Feminism is, in fact, extremely sexist. And not just sexist to men, but even to women. Personally I think that much of feminism is more about women being ’special’ than equal.
At this point it seems that Bint gave up and went home or something. Either way she didn’t have anything to reply to this. What worries me is that she mentioned she has a man. And a kid. I worry, really I do.
At this point some wandering passer-by seemingly decided to add their single comment.
One Shot: It’s incredible that there are any kids being born, when there’s so much man-hating. Not even the harshest dictators hate HALF the population, as these feminazis do. Let them live on their separate island in grass huts, free from the civilization ‘the patriarchy’ built for them. They can pleasure themselves all night, and claw at each other all day. We can definitely do without them.
Seemed like a decent sort, tee hee :P Anyway….
Tune in next time for the third part of this little anti-feminist, Ann Summers-related tirade where we shall see the debate between yours truly, dear Fractal and the mighty ‘Femme’! ♦
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December 12, 2007 at 6:09 pm
Why Women Disgust Me - Part 1 « Blacksilk’s Boudoir
[...] To be continued in the next part containing: [...]
December 23, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Why Women Disgust Me - Part 3 (Final) « Blacksilk’s Boudoir
[...] off by the Ann Summers party I went to, for previous posts in this rant read Part 1 and Part 2. I feel more like writing something else but hey, I did promise I’d finish this off, so on we [...]
December 27, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Quixote
I was born in 1979. Solid, middle-class family. Good education. Being of that generation and having that background, I was never really aware of prejudice (I’d venture it preceded me by a decade or so). The society I grew up in seemed to be fair, tolerant, balanced. I never saw women as anything less than my equal.
In recent years that has been changing. As a man, I am the one feeling persecution. I’m sick of seeing television shows where a female character can say “Why are all you men so pathetic?” I’m sick of seeing adverts showing a sassy, knowing girlfriend/wife and an idiot bloke for a boyfriend/husband (who is usually well under the thumb). I’m sick of hearing how any male-only gatherings are sexist. I’m sick of hearing how enjoying porn is “misogynistic”. I’m sick of being told women are maturer than men. I’m sick of being told men will one day be redundant. I’m sick of seeing shows (like “Loose Women”) where male-bashing is effectively legitimised.
And that’s barely scratching the surface…
I understand that there are many sides involved in this. There are genuine misogynists who are happy to hurl the hate back at women. But it’s those of us in the middle ground I am concerned about. People like me, brought up with no sense of prejudice, but rather feeling like I’m on the receiving end of it. And what’s worse, it is no longer coming from loony, hard feminists…it has become so ingrained in our culture that it is the female middle ground that is taking these sterotypes and cliches for granted.
I made these points a few years back on a couple of message boards. I was shot down as a “misogynist” and a “woman hater”. Nothing could have been further from the truth; I was simply offering my observations. It was a sad indictment that, as a man with criticism against this post-feminist culture, my opinions apparently had no integrity.
I feel I have been sliding towards misogyny lately. The tragic irony is that it is the over-zealous feminist movement that is shoving me there. So I want to THANK you for pulling me back from the brink. It is fantastic to hear that some female columnists are reluctant to throw out the silencing “misogynist” tag, and even better to see that they share my observations about the whopping double standards pervading our culture.
Keep it up. I feel it is important. More voices are needed, or I fear there will be a genuine backlash in the not-too-distant future…and none of us really want that. Do we?
December 28, 2007 at 2:33 am
Blacksilk
@ Quixote: Thank you very much for your comment, you raise an important point: the emasculation of men, particularly in the media. It’s now seemingly ‘okay’ to be sexist towards men. The other day I saw a knifeblock online in the shape of a pained-looking man and it was called “The Ex” knifeblock. Can you imagine the fuss that would’ve been raised had that been a female figure?
Porn is not mysogynistic nor is its so-called ‘objectification’ of women a problem. And if I ever lived in a society without men I would go mad as a bicycle.
I fear there will also be extreme fringes such as man-haters and women-haters but you’re right, it is the middle ground that needs protecting. That is becoming polluted. it is not unusual for everyday women to just pour out these watered-down hate speeches on men, the sexist remarks, the cliches, without thought.
I wouldn’t worry about being called a ‘misogynist’ by this sort of woman. I get told I am some mindless puppet or that I know nothing about feminism, I get offensive remarks for saying these things even as a woman. But really anyone of either gender should be allowed to make comments on women or men. One doesn’t have to be a woman to criticise feminism. One doesn’t have to be a rapist to criticise rape.
It is these radical feminists that make me move towards misogyny too. I wonder if they even realise the harm they do to men, women, gender equality, society.
This may be a strange way of putting it but thank you for your thanks :) I’m very glad that I’ve managed to be of help to someone, particularly in this way. Trust me, you and I are not the only people with sensible opinions about this, in fact you remind me of Fractal’s views on the matter, its just hard to hear the sense over the tirades.
I will indeed keep it up, just try and stop me arguing my typing-fingers off when I see the next example of such appalling ‘femme-logic’ :)
December 28, 2007 at 9:44 am
maviscruet
“I get told I am some mindless puppet or that I know nothing about feminism”
O RLY?
Prove you do, then! Enlighten us, o great one: tell me what you know about feminism. I promise not to laugh.
(If you’re stuck, I hear Wikipedia’s quite good…;)
December 28, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Blacksilk
@ maviscruet: I am not taking anyone seriously who uses “O RLY”. Nor anyone who suggests Wikipedia to me as a source of any kind of decent information.
December 29, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Fractal
Maviscruet,
“O RLY?”
Oh please. Look, I could tell from your earlier comment that you were hardly Ivy League material in terms of your intellect. You’ve made your point, you’re an idiot, we get it. We like more intelligent debate here, though, so I invite you to leave (intelligent debate doesn’t generally involve Wikipedia).
December 29, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Biskie
http://jezebel.com/gossip/pencil-dicks/-326323.php
It’s no better than the “ex-knife block” is it?
Both are pretty offensive.
December 30, 2007 at 12:04 am
Blacksilk
@ Biskie:
No, you’re right that is pretty darn offensive to most women. Both are offensive mostly for the fact that they attack only one sex in each. I think if there was also a female The Ex and a male pencil-thingy I’d just laugh them off as stupid novelties, but then I have a black sense of humour.
So yes, I actually agree with you here, equally as offensive as The Ex. (Which can be found here for those who don’t know of it http://thedistrictweekly.com/print/commerce/buy-curious/2007/05/24/buy-curious-the-ex-knife-block/)
Thanks for telling me about this one.
November 10, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I’ll Tell You No Lies – VII « Lady Pandorah’s Sanctuary of Sensuality
[...] is what a perfectly alright idea has been warped into. I, again, won’t go into details as other writers discuss this with more intellectual capacity in the area than I have, as I will digress [...]